Losing is Never Easy
by Yuuki Kishitani
Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle this?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

* * *

Chapter 1: High on the roof, Our informant stood

 _'It's his entire fault.'_

Looking over the edge of the building, a man looked down at the twinkling lights of his beloved city, filled with his beloved humans. He loved how they scurried around trying to get from place to place, or how they got together as a gathering to meet up some place; possibly to get some food or for the teens the local arcade. His lovely humans were going on with their daily lives, unbeknownst to the figure who thought himself as a god because he watched over them all. Because he treasured them all.

Izaya Orihara wasn't known as Tokyo's greatest informant for nothing. He was very much informed on the happenings of Shinjuku, Ikebukuro, and other local areas. As an info broker for the underground, he dealt in the business of selling his information, he diligently collected (along with spreading a few rumors here and there to stir up trouble), and giving it to the Awakusu, along with personally dealing with other gangs who may reign on this boss' turf. all this for the fun of manipulating everyone, under the guise he loved more than anything to be used as Izaya Orihara, the informant with a god like complex who loved all humans.

All except one. And when this thought crossed his mind, a grimace crossed his face, and his fingers dug against his blade handle. Because that one person was the cause of all his damn problems, and everything he had handled up until this point. Really, the freaking person couldn't be just as mindless as a baboon… Actually, to insult baboons like that was a crime. The person he was thinking of was way more mindless than a monkey.

Feeling a slight chill the man pressed his jacket closer to his frame. Right now that man was indirectly messing in his life and even though his friend has wisely warned the other that even if things looked shitty now, eventually his 'news' was going to reach the other sooner or later. Hah! Not if he could help it. And the best thing he could do know was avoid one and keep the other from rambling his mouth off.

A slight buzz startled the other out of his inner ramblings, and out came his phone. Swiping the screen to the side he chuckled into the phone, regaining his usual composure.

"Ah how nice of you to call Shinra. I was thinking you had had enough of of my voice for the day."

When he didn't get a response in return, but only heavy breathing, Izaya had wondered if Shinra was playing some kind of weird joke. The caller Id was correct, so why wasn't his friend rambling his mouth off like usual? It couldn't be his dullahan girlfriend breathing in the phone, because she had no working organs. So who was this?

"Izaya."

The informant heard his name through the receiver and frowned. Soon after, distant yelling could be heard, and the ravenette placed the receiver to his ear.

"…don't yell at him! Calm down! Please don't brea- AAH!"

"YOU DAMN FLEA! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!"

Ahh, speak of the devil. The informant gave a low humph into the receiver and smirked. "Aww, _Shizu-chan_ , that's no way to greet me. I'm well surprised you were smart enough to contact me through Shinra's phone."

"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU COCKROACH!"

Really, the yelling was beginning to give him a bad migraine. He didn't feel up to talking to the blond brute. "Somewhere even your bloodhound nose will never find me."

He could hear something being smashed and a low growl come from the other side. "Bring your scrawny ass to Shinra's, **now**."

"Whoa, who are you to be directing orders? I'm not your little brother, or son, Shizuo. You can't order me, of all people, to do anything."

"I'll do whatever I damn please as long as you're carrying _ **my fucking child**_."

Izaya went quiet. Dammit. He found out. That damn Shinra probably told him, despite his wishes. He felt sick now. Not the sick he had been experiencing for 3 months now, when his tired aching body got enough energy to launch him to the bathroom to empty stomach acids. This compared to the sick feeling he felt when he found out he was 3 months pregnant with a thing inside his body. And even worse because it was the monster's thing, and he wanted it out. It was his entire damned fault for 3 agonizing months of wondering what was going on with his body, and mysteriously gaining weight. It was his fucking fault for that one fucking night. That night that started it all.

"Bring your ass to Shinra's or else I'll hunt you down and bring you back myself." Shizuo ordered into the phone, bringing Izaya out of his thoughts.

Izaya had to think of something snide. "Well you certainly weren't thinking about hunting me down after you left my apartment 3 months ago, Shizuo. Was I that bad of a fuck you had to keep away from me?"

He heard Shinra pleading Shizuo not to break his phone and more growling. "Shut up! _You_ were the one avoiding Ikebukuro, you shitty louse!"

"Aww Shizu-chan, you thought of me while you were avoiding me?" Izaya cooed. "Would you have liked me to come back after that night? Sorry, but you left me so sore after that day, that it took 3 months to recover. But I wouldn't go for a round 2 with a rough animal like you."

"Shut the hell up! This isn't about that night! You aren't getting a fucking abortion!"

 **Shit**. This meant Shinra told him everything he had wanted to do involving the parasite inside him, and that Shizuo could stop him from doing whatever he wanted…as long as the protozoan could keep him under watch. And Izaya did not plan on being around that man, and he did not want to have this thing in him for 6 more months.

"I'll do whatever I want with my body. And I'm getting rid of it. I don't need anymore monsters running among my humans. Having you here is one monster too many." Izaya chuckled. "And besides, you can't take care of a child with your poor payments Shizuo. So even if you could have your wish granted, you would probably have the baby taken from you."

"I don't give a damn. You aren't taking away a harmless baby's life because of your selfishness!"

"I hardly call keeping two monsters out of Ikebukuro selfish." Izaya shot back.

"It's a baby, not a monster."

"It's a **parasite** , and it needs to _die_." the informant hissed angrily.

Hearing a horse whinny, Izaya turned around and met a dark scythe. He closed his eyes, and dropped his phone, then collapsed onto a dark cloud of smoke that kept him from injuring himself. The clacking of boots walked passed him to pick up the device and texted the number to the number he'd called.

 ** _[I found him. Bringing him back now]_**

Before his vision went dark, Izaya let out a low chuckle. He was outsmarted by an unpredictable duo yet again. Damn that Shizuo.

* * *

Xibiya: Hai hai~ Well, things are pretty intense now huh? Hopefully I'll keep with this story, because I really wanted to do some kind of angst. This will be my first, and I wish to accomplish what I can. Expect a lot of drama, and things going on, along with feels and other things. Wahh! I won't want to let you down ;u;


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

* * *

Chapter Two: Monster and the Flea

 **Three Months Prior to the Current Events**

It was a clear mid summer day in Ikebukuro station. Sunshine central was living up to its name, as the populace was walking back and forth across the street…in a rather quickened and hurried manner to dodge an incoming street pole. Anywhere else, if there hadn't been a storm for days and street signs were uprooted from their places, people would be freaked out and call upon their gods for answers. However in Ikebukuro, where even the ordinary was extraordinary, and vice versa, up rooted signs, park benches, torn off rail bars, trees, cars, and even people flew in the air and landed about 3 feet from their original position. Cries of rage and hysterical laughter cut through the cities traffic and was causing more noise than the streets of Ikebukuro could even compare.

Yes this is how it was, three months ago and as it should have always been and remained between the fighting enemies Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara.

The flea had no business to take care of after setting his most used pawn, Nakura, out to the dogs yet again to be terrorized by the gangs, only to be reeled back in and reminded how he had stabbed his only friend in middle school, and his life was now in Izaya's hands, for Izaya could throw Nakura to the police for everything he's done. Bored with the weakened and traumatized human, Izaya decided he should reward himself with some fatty tuna, as this always got him in a good mood after a boring show. Not only this but a sly idea floated around his head, and he would please himself with a little game if things fall into place.

Humming a tune only he knew, he skipped into the streets of Shinjuku like an eight year old, and not the 23 year old man he was supposed to be. It was a lovely day to be one with his humans, as it only made him stand out so much. It was probably because of this his name was called out above so many people, with an angry roar that only ten years of frantic chasing, knife slicing, fist throwing, chaotic hatred between two men could muster into. The informant turned to see people moving out of the way of a moving stop sign, and this could only mean one thing.

That familiar mop of blond was quickly approaching and in a matter of minutes, Shizuo threw the sign at the man. Of course the informant dodged with grace-like ease and whipped out his knife. A few choices of words were exchanged and the chase was on.

"Get the HELL out of Ikebukuro, you damn pest!" Shizuo shouted as yet another park bench was snatched from his place. It was 30 minutes into the chase, and this was really wearing Izaya out.

"Aww Shizu-chan, all I really wanted was some sushi." Izaya whined, skipping backwards and out of Shizuo's way.

"Go die! I don't care about your peckish filling for fucking fish! Stay the fuck out of Ikebukuro!" Shizuo yelled and threw the bench.

Izaya turned and dashed into an alley. Some how, this place looked very familiar to him. Looking behind him, Izaya pressed his lithe frame against the wall as a trash can was shoved down the alley. It crashed into the wall up ahead, tipping over and letting its contents spill out, but the informant had other things to worry about. His arms were securely pinned over his head and the blonde brute was inches away from his face. His grin upturned into a snarl; due to the fact the other had a sly smirk on his face, this was only pissing Shizuo off more.

"What's there to smile about, shitty louse?"

"Shizu-chan you plan on raping me here…?" Izaya whimpered and turned his face in a mock blush. He snuck a look to see the fortissimo's ears burn a bright pink and his hands slammed into the brick.

"Like hell I'd ever do something to repulsive as having sex with you!" Shizuo yelled.

Looking down, Izaya arched an eyebrow and rubbed his leg against the other's crotch. This earned a surprised yelp, and Shizuo pressing Izaya's body closer to the wall. Izaya let out a teasing lewd whimper and smirked at his nemesis, who glared in return.

"Quit that!"

"Oh but Shizu-chan, you look like you want it. Look at how close our bodies are." Izaya whispered and rested his lips on the blonde's neck. This earned a shiver down the man's spine; before he regained what little sense he had and shoved himself away from the man.

"You're sick, Izaya. I don't know what game you're playing with me." Shizuo snarled, balling his fists.

"That's not what your lower regions are saying." Izaya pointed out.

Shizuo looked down and noticed a slight bump where it should not be. No way. He couldn't have gotten hard in the least from a little bit of touching. Not from this guy of all people. Shizuo glared at the other man as he cooed and reached out to touch the limp package.

"Has Shizu-chan ever had sex before? You look unnaturally shy about it." The informant mused as his hands were slapped away.

"Shut the hell up and quit touching me, dirty flea! I'll kill you!" Shizuo growled and pinned the man against the wall.

"Can you do that with your manhood begging for attention Shizu-chan? Look at where we're at." Izaya prompted the blond with a smirk. Shizuo looked around to see that some how, he had chased Izaya to Shinjuku and they were near the fire exit of the apartment complex he lived at. "We could go right inside, where no one will run in on us and we'll handle that problem of yours. Let me do you a solid for once, while I'm being nice"

"Fuck no. You're just going to use this as information and spread your dirty little rumors, you shitty pest. Now that I've escorted you home how about you go up into your room and die. Or should I do that for you?"

"Why Shizu-chan, you treat me to one of your frantic date chases and dump me at home without so much as a kiss? You really are a protozoan. I was politely offering you sex on the first date. Or maybe this makes an innumerable number, since you chase me so much when you see me."

"This is hardly a date! Shut your trap!"

"Make me."

Shizuo was taken aback by the challenging words, and bit his lip. Fine. If Izaya wanted to play this game, he could to. The blonde crashed his lips into the other in an awkward and sloppy kiss. The raven was caught totally off guard with this, not expecting the blonde brute to play with his lips…or was he actually trying to kiss him? Honestly, Izaya thought, and opened his mouth to angle the kiss so that Shizuo's fit comfortably on top. The two had a heated session with Izaya teaching the other how to kiss properly. Absently, he didn't think this was half bad. When they pulled away, Shizuo rubbed his lips against his sleeve.

"That was fucking disgusting," he murmured to himself.

"Says the protozoan who kissed me." Izaya teased and wrapped his arms around the other. He devoured the lips, submitting Shizuo to his desires, as they were now riled in the moment. The blonde began roaming his hands shyly across the informant's body and up his shirt before giving a slight hiss when the playful man bit his lower lip.

"If we're going to do it, let's go to the bedroom." Izaya whispered, lust dripping off every word.

Reluctant, however eager to get rid of the now painful bulge trapped in heat, the body guard followed the informant into his apartment. Izaya kept it going with light touches, so he wouldn't lose him. Oh he had plans for this. He'd treat Shizuo like a dog once this was over and exploit it at every term to get what he wanted out of him. When the elevator reached his floor, Shizuo hoisted the other over his shoulder, unceremoniously Izaya might add, and sped to his room with the man's guidance. Kicking the door down, again rather unceremoniously and outright rude, Shizuo navigated his way to the man's bedroom and kicked the door shut. There was no way in hell he would let anyone see what was about to happen.

Dropped on the bed, Izaya hurriedly guided Shizuo over his body to resume what they started in the alley. Their breaths mingled with each slight parting before smashing each other again. Izaya felt fingers go under his shirt and began experimenting by pinching his nipples. The informant arched his back and moaned into the kiss, breaking it so that his erotic moans could drive Shizuo wild.

It didn't take long for all the clothes to fly off, and for bulges to be pressed together. The thin clothing became damp with precum, while the two males bit each others junctions and scratched backs. Shizuo became intoxicated by the pheromones in the air. This was a bad idea, but this felt so fucking good. He would regret it once he was done, but damn he needed this release so bad. Shizuo let his hands dip into the informant's boxers, probing his nimble fingers against the puckered hole.

"I thought you said this was your- Yaaahnn!" Izaya was cut off as a finger slid in dry and clung to the blond tightly. His body instinctively thrusting forward to meet with the body guard's thrusting fingers and aching cock alternatively. Oh this felt so good. So fucking rough and it hurt, but so good. Another finger was added into the hole and stretched the hole for preparation. Shit, was this man really a virgin? Once the third finger was added, Izaya began whimpering and riding the fingers vigorously, waiting for him to start poking at that one spot…

"Ooh! Shizu-chan! Ahh, there!" Izaya moaned in pleasure as his cloth began moving due to the member twitching in ecstasy.

Shizuo removed his fingers and pulled down on the informants boxers, his eyes scanning the body. He briefly noticed a scar resting on Izaya's left hip and bent to lick it. He held the squirming (and apparently ticklish) informant down, and his head dipped to the head of the member. Izaya arched his back in pleasure.

"God so much for this bein- Hnng, your first- Aaah, time Shizu-chaaah!" Izaya breathed out between pants and grunts.

A low pop brought Shizuo's mouth away with only a thin trail of saliva connecting them…or was that cum? "Shut up flea." He grumbled, shoving his own boxers down, to let Izaya see.

Before Shizuo could latch on to his hips, Izaya demanded he lubricated his monstrous length, for he refused to be ridden dry. Getting the lube from his side dresser, Izaya offered to lather it onto Shizuo's length. Oh he would have stories to tell when this was all over, he thought as he began pumping the other man's cock. They shares moans and eagerness to get this over with, for they were both on the edge of holding it in with all the teasing and what not.

Shizuo pushed the informant over, flinging both legs over his shoulders, and inserted himself before Izaya had time to prepare himself.

"Shit!" Izaya bit his lip and threw his head back, clenching up around Shizuo's length in pain.

"Fuck!" the other swore. "Loosen up, you louse!"

"That hurt! Have some decency and do it right then!" Izaya shouted back, tears pricking his eyes, and he leaned back to adjust to Shizuo's size. A few easy breathes, and a low chuckle and Izaya gave him the go. "Dammit, you really are a virgin."

Shizuo began to move out and slammed back in. "Shut your mouth." He grumbled and kissed the man as his lower regions rocked back and forth.

A mix of moans, creaks, skin slapping, lip smacking and grunts filled the air. Both males felt their climax coming, Izaya being the first to show signs. He sprayed a little on Shizuo's chest and let out a grunt as Shizuo hit his spot. Repeatedly the man let loose on that spot until the informant couldn't hold back any longer and let the entirety of himself spray onto his and Shizuo's chest. Shizuo came moments after Izaya's orgasm, and lazily rode it out, before letting his dripping cock pull out of the informant. Drained of energy, Izaya curled up and began drifting off while the body guard made haste to dress himself and leave, feeling disgusted with himself for giving in to the flea.

As soon as the blonde left, and without a word no less, Izaya let out a soft chuckle and rubbed his sore ass. He probably wouldn't be able to sit down for a few weeks.

* * *

Author's Note-

Xibiya: Even during sex they argue. This was fun to write actually. I like unexpected enemy sex to happen something like this. No calling out names, just fighting and frick fracking XD There will probably be about 2 or three more chapters dealing in the past before we progress through the story. Kinda changing my writing style and trying this out to see how I like.

Please drop in a reveiw! Fave the story and feel free to share it my cupcakes ^-^

I update pretty frequently if I'm not stuck in a writers block. (sweats nervously)


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

* * *

Chapter 3: An Informant is Never Ill

Due to the Awakusu-kai being pursued by the police, Izaya was ordered to lay low and out of sight until the cover was clear. This of course was a good thing for Izaya, because the past month hadn't gone so well for him. One moment he was fine, thinking of all the ways he could use his afternoon with his favorite monster to his advantage in getting what he needed out of Ikebukuro. And the next he was writhing in pain due to weird cramps in his midsection. Did Shizuo really pound him that hard so that he'd feel the late effects?

This pain was in more than just his mid though. He had back cramps, and fatigued muscles that seemed to lock up when he tried to pull late nighters. He also developed distaste for his usual black coffee in the morning, which pissed him off, due to being oh so very tired after every fitful night of sleeping. He especially needed some when he would make trips to the bathroom at night, and early in the morning, to throw up, and the return bad to bed feeling worse than before.

'Perhaps I shouldn't have let the monster screw me. His protozoan seeds are infecting me with some weird bacteria.' He thought to himself on one of his days off. He had his head down at the desk, barely concentrating on the chat site he would troll on, and this irritated him so. He told his chat buddies he didn't feel well and logged off to go lay in bed.

This persisted for another month, and even when the Awakusu gave him the clear to begin working again, the informant just wasn't up for it. He hadn't seen much of the light of day, or so much as eaten anything without having to throw it up. So he asked that he take a few weeks off to recover if possible. However as things were beginning to look up for the informant he was in for the shock of a life time.

His muscles were sore from his illness and the only thing that seemed to work were now hot showers. He felt the muscles relax under the heat, and he let out a sigh of pleasure. He felt so good right now, he mused moving his hair back and staring at the drain. He let a frown cross his face looking down at his body. His stomach looked a tad bit rounded, as if his slim figure consumed a grape fruit whole and it wouldn't digest.

It crossed as an oddity to him, since he hadn't been able to put down much over the past two months. With a confused feeling, the informant got out of the shower and began drying himself, letting the scale even out.

"133 pounds; that can't be right." he muttered to himself and stepped off and back on to see if the numbers were correct. And yet again, the scale told him 133 pounds. Izaya always managed to maintain a decent weight of 128 pounds, but how in the world did he gain weight without eating so much as a slice of bread to hold him over? While dressing himself, the semi worried informant calmed down when his clothes covered his belly weight. His lack of eating could have caused him to gain weight, he mused, as some people happen to do that when they go without food.

At least that's what the poor raven thought, when he began becoming self conscious about his weight. Weeks passed by, and the informant could swear his stomach was growing bit by bit, even as he got on his regular eating habits. He huffed at his computer desk, shirt lifted to expose the belly bump as he examined it closely. Whatever it was hadn't gone away, and he was in need of visiting someone who knew about the human body better than anyone.

* * *

Soft rapping was heard, just as Shinra sat down in front of the TV to kick back and relax. He had his slippers on, a mug of coffee, and a pillow to hug, and felt terribly ticked off he had to get up.

"I told you I was off today!" He yelled marching around the couch and into the hallway. "I'm not doing anything but watching movies and waiting for my wife to get back so why don-"

Shinra blinked when he came face to face with Izaya. He looked so unrecognizable to the doctor he almost closed the door on him. "Izaya, you look horrible. Did you just get over a cold or something?"

The informant chuckled a little, and shrugged, "Something like that. Do you think you can check me out before I start working again?"

"Sure, come in. How have you been? Other than feeling like crap. I haven't seen you around for almost 3 months." The doctor asked leading his friend to a spare room to examine him.

"I've been throwing up, my muscles ache; I'm always tired, even though I sleep in a lot, and also this." Izaya lifted his shirt and placed a hand over his slightly swollen belly.

 _Oh…_ What was this look on Shinra's face like he made the biggest mistake of his life? He began laughing nervously and rubbed his head, scooting his chair back to get away from Izaya. In moments, Izaya had his knife pinned to the other's throat; with a deathly glare that demanded Shinra tell him what was going on.

"I-Izaya, you have to promise not to actually stab me this time! I have a wife-" Shinra started.

"Tell me what the hell you know since you seem to be so nervous about it. What did you do to me?"

"I didn't think it would actually work! I just needed a place to hide it from my father! A-and you happened to come that day…" Shinra squealed then the blade was pressed closer to his vocal chords. "I had you take an experimental pill that causes male ovulation! Izaya you _could be pregnant_!"

The knife dropped to the floor with a _klink!_ Izaya's face giving Shinra the most baffled look he would ever dare only express once every lifetime. They stared at each other for a moment before Izaya broke out into a hysterical fit of laughter. He fell against the wall and slid down holding his stomach as it contracted and convulsed rapidly, his laughter not maniacal, but over all in flat denial, or perhaps he found this to be a very funny joke? Who ever heard of male ovulation?

"G-good one, Shinra." Izaya sighed once he calmed down to a couple of fits and wiped a tear. "Now tell me what you really did to me."

"Izaya, I'm serious. Remember that day you came to me when you were complaining that the pills to keep you awake weren't helping? I was hiding an experimental drug my father was working on in that pill bottle. I meant to take it out before I gave it to you, but it slipped my mind until this moment."

No… Oh no…Oh _ **HELL NO**_. He could not be pregnant. Izaya Orihara could not be fucking pregnant, lugging around a child for Valhalla knows how long, and then raising the screaming thing by himself. He stood up and grabbed the knife but before it could meet Shinra's neck, the doctor pulled out a scalpel.

"Get rid of this thing, or I swear to God I will kill you!" Izaya seethed.

"I can't Izaya. I can't take it out, or anything. I'm not an abortion clinic."

"Well you aren't a sperm or egg donor clinic either, but look at what you fucking did. Take it out of me right now!"

"I still can't do that with out the other party's consent." Shinra muttered, his arm becoming weakened the longer they stayed in their dual.

"Other par- What other party?"

"Whoever you woo hoo'd with within the past three months."

Izaya frowned slightly. Who had he had…

"Now you really have to take this monster out of me. I'm not taking care of his fucking parasite."

Shinra gasped in slight awe. Never in forever would he have thought that, "You and Shizuo did the woo hoo?!"

* * *

Xibiya: I was surprised coming back from my history class that 10 people added this story to their favs 3

I hope this quick update satisfies you all while I go work on "Mom, Dad, I Love My Brother" for a few chapters.

Love me~ ;u; and please review! Thank chuu 3


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

* * *

Chapter 4: The Monster will know

"He hasn't been here in almost 3 months now." Tom Tanaka, Shizuo's senior, mused lightly before taking a few fries and placing him to his mouth.

"Hhm…" The blond hummed sipping on his drink.

This was considered abnormal in Ikebukuro. At least once or twice a week, Shizuo and Izaya would wreck havoc in the town and for days construction workers would pull signs out of buildings, benches out of trees, and other items that didn't belong where they did whenever the two would fight. But it's been almost three months, since Shizuo had seen the flea in Ikebukuro, or smelled him around anywhere. He hope he up and died after what he caused the blond to do to him (Shizuo crushed his cup in anger; milk dripping off his hands) or felt just as ashamed as he did.

Shizuo groaned. He lost his virginity to the flea. _The damn flea of all things that live on the Earth._ Oh he was beyond displeased. If he wasn't so ashamed and disgusted with himself, he'd be absolutely livid, march down to Shinjuku, and kill Izaya, even if he doesn't die. (Tom was wiping the table and Shizuo's hands, panicking at the mess he'd made while the blonde growled lowly and stared out the window.) He wanted the flea dead, and he wanted to die just as bad as he wanted to kill the man. But the only one who could possibly kill him would be the flea.

"Dammit!" Shizuo swore, throwing the cup down and storming out of the diner. "I'm going to kill that fucking flea!"

Why was he so upset? He hadn't been seen in 3 months so why go to him? Shizuo slammed his hand into the building, trying to subdue his anger. Why did the flea do that to him? He felt so confused. Had he planned on letting him screw him in his home the entire time? Did he want it? Why hadn't he stopped? Enemies weren't supposed to fuck each other.

Right?

* * *

"Shinra, shut the hell up, and remove this damn thing from me." Izaya hissed, and turned his knife towards himself. "If you don't, I'll kill it this way."

"Izaya no!" Shinra struggled to keep the knife from impaling. "You can't kill innocent life like this!"

"Innocent my ass! This thing is ruining my life!"

"You're overreacting due to mood swings and changes to your body! You aren't thinking clearly! Calm down, take a few breaths and relax Izaya!" Shinra screamed and knocked the knife out of his hand. Shinra pinned Izaya's arms to his side to keep him from reaching the knife, and struggled to hold him back.

"I swear to god, if you don't let me go, I'm killing you fist and then this monster inside me!"

"Listen Izaya, if you keep the baby then give it to Shizuo it will be out of your life forever!" Shinra tried to reason.

"Or I can kill it now, and neither one of us will have to have it."

"Are you expressing concern for Shizuo?"

The struggle momentarily stopped, and then Izaya shot him a fierce glare. "I'm not going to live forever with the thought that I gave birth to a monster, and its walking around with another monster."

"It's a _baby_ Izaya, not a monster. You're giving life to something! Isn't that exciting?" Shinra tried to plead with him.

This was pissing Izaya off to no end. He had had it up to the realm of the gods with Shinra's pleas. "No. It defies all human laws, and nature itself. Men can't give birth, and I'm not going to sit here and blatantly accept the fact that I, Izaya Orihara, am giving birth to a fucking monster. Shizuo's monster at that." He huffed. "So if you would remove this thing from my body, and put nature right back in its place, then all of this can happen without that blonde protozoan knowing anything."

Shinra looked at Izaya with a forlorn look on his face. With a sigh he saw he could not get through as long as Izaya was stuck on the fact he was giving birth to a "monster". Did it not excite him that a "human" was growing inside of his body? Or was it because it was Shizuo's child he called it a monster by default?

"Is it because it's Shizuo's child?"

Izaya frowned a little bit and scoffed as if that wasn't what he was trying to explain. "Of course. If I had known that you gave me a fertilization pill in the mix of my sleep medication, I wouldn't have tempted him into fucking me."

"Well why did you tempt him into sleeping with you?"

Izaya scowled. "I'm not giving you private information. It's for my own purposes only."

"Knowing you, you probably wanted to use it as black mail, and you're upset because you realized it back fired." Shinra deducted.

The two glared at each other, the doctor smiling because he knew the informant so well, and the informant knew he couldn't keep anything personal from his only friend. Getting up, Izaya grabbed his knife and jammed it in his pocket. Shinra not getting up fast enough to keep him from leaving.

* * *

Stalking the area, Shizuo was livid he still couldn't find the flea. He went to his house and found it empty (leaving the door off its hinges and the knob crushed), and was even walking the area where the Awakusu claimed their territory. Unable to find him, Shizuo sat on the benches in the park, trying to calm down.

It was approaching evening now, and the skies took upon an orange glow. Semi peaceful, Shinzuo took out a cigarette and lit it, the orange tip matching that of the skies setting over the Kanto region. The whinny of a horse brought Shizuo out of his little day dream, as Celty approached him with her phone, a message already typed out.

 ** _[Shinra needs you. He said it was urgent.]_**

Shizuo rode with the headless rider to her current residence with his childhood friend, seeing the doctor almost on edge when he walked through the door. When Shinra spotted him he sat the blonde down and huffed quietly.

"Shizuo...how's life been buddy?" Shinra started out.

"Alright I guess. Why did you need me? It isn't for one of your tests are they?"

Shinra waved his hands back and forth and laughed. "Oh no no no, not at all Shizuo… I have something to tell you, however…I don't think you'll be at all pleased with the situation, or any of this. I actually fear for my life right now."

Shizuo tilted his head to the side. "Spit it out already Shinra. It can't be that bad, unless it involves the flea."

"I was afraid you were going to mention Izaya… But before you get into a rage, just…listen."

The growling subsided for a moment and he nodded.

"See…My father made a pill that simulates hormones not dominant in males, and causes them to develop ovaries, no matter the age. Ah- Ovaries, are in females, they are what houses a fetus when a male and female have intercourse. Anyways, my father was creating this because many homosexual people want to have babies, without having to get surgery, or have a surrogate…Homosexual people are…gays and lesbians, Shizuo. But it was underdeveloped when my dad wanted to test it….or so I thought."

"What do you mean by that?" Shizuo asked, still confused by the whole thing.

"Well, I hid the one pill we made inside of a prescription of pills that I give to….Izaya, and he took one… which means if he had sex with anyone, there was a possibility he could get pregnant…"

It took a few moments before it clicked in the blonde's head, but just in case. "So, basically…the flea took a pill that can get him pregnant, and if he had…uhm… intercourse, he can get pregnant?"

"Yes. And Izaya came to my house today, and I can confirm that he's at least 3 months along. Now…he told me that last person he did it with, was you."

Shizuo blinked and frowned. "Wait so…the flea… the flea is pregnant?"

"Yes Shizuo…" Shinra nodded. "And if within the last 3 months he was pregnant, it could only be your baby."

"The flea is pregnant with my baby?" Shizuo asked, looking almost dumbfounded at this.

"Basically yes."

"That has got to be the worst non April Fools joke you told, Shinra." Shizuo sighed and stood up.

"Shizuo, your hands are shaking."

Shizuo looked at his hands and clenched them. He was trying oh so hard not to break anything, to accept the fact he had messed up by giving in. He wasn't even going to question this. The laws of nature were far beyond screwed, starting with Celty, missing head, and organs that never rotted, to him and his limitation of his natural strength having been released. It was messed up how this seemed so abnormal yet he could take it like this. If he had messed up and got the flea pregnant, then he'd have to take responsibilities with him.

"There's just one thing however." Shinra started up with a sigh. "Izaya doesn't want the baby."

Woah, Shizuo thought as his train of thought got derailed. "What do you mean, Izaya doesn't want it?"

"He wants to have an abortion. But he can't get one for three reasons. One, there is absolutely to way any normal clinic would believe that he is pregnant, therefore he can't get one there. Two, he wouldn't try anything that could put his life in danger, such as take other pills that can lead to miscarriage. And three, since I'm the only doctor that can give him an abortion, I'm making him go the legal way, and making him ask the father of the child if he doesn't want it either." Shinra explained. "And that's you."

"Like hell I'm getting rid of the child. I want him." Shizuo protested angrily.

"Well if you want the child its best we find Izaya right away then." Shinra told him taking out his cell phone. "Before Izaya kills the baby."

"Give me the damn phone Shinra."

* * *

Xibiya: To be honest, this was hard to write. I wasn't sure if I should make them both in denial at first or if Shizuo should accept it, but in the end I think Shizuo accepting the fact that even if it is with Izaya, he created life and is responsible for it. And yea, we're all caught up to what happened in the first chapter, and from here the story shall progress to the next 5 or 6 months left of Izaya's pregnancy.

Thing's will happen soon though~ no worries.

Read and Review please~

Thanks ^3^


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

* * *

Chapter 5: The Monster, The Flea, and the Sleeping Arrangements

"He's not staying with me. I will not allow this."

Shizuo crushed Shinra's metal cups for the fifth time since Celty brought him from his hiding place. Crimson orbs glared into angry mocha ones, as the "couple" fought over Izaya's condition and how to handle it. Shinra thought it best since Shizuo wanted to keep the kid, that he should stay with Izaya to keep the man from doing anything to himself or the baby. Izaya on the other hand, agreed to keep the kid, but refused to let the fake blonde stay at his house.

"And why the hell not; I want to bond with my child, and make sure you don't do anything stupid! I don't like this idea either Izaya, but you've gone off your deep end with this." Shizuo growled.

"Awww," Izaya cooed mockingly. "Is Shizuo afraid I'll kill his little protozoan? I already told you I'll let you keep it. But you sure as hell aren't staying with me. Bond with the damn thing when Shinra takes it out."

"Stop calling it that!"

 ** _[Both of you quit yelling!]_**

The duo looked at Celty's PDA before she typed on it again.

 ** _[You're both grown men, and going on like a couple of brats. You're bringing in life. Izaya, you should respect Shizuo's wishes and let him stay with you, only for the kid. What harm is it going to bring you? Also, Shizuo, you shouldn't be so violent. You wouldn't want to raise your kid like that]_**

Both men looked down, somewhat ashamed they were being told off by a headless dullahan. Shinra had came into the room with a bag and placed it beside Izaya.

"If you're going to keep the baby, these medicines should help with pain, and other changes that are going on with your body." Shinra explained.

"You didn't happen to _accidentally_ slip an abortion pill in the bottles, did you?" Izaya sneered sarcastically to the doctor, which earned him a growl from Shizuo.

"I didn't in fact Izaya. I'll never make that mistake again. In fact, I dare you to go throughout this whole pregnancy term without those pills and see if you want an abortion then. Because the pain you'd go through without those pills, won't amount to how painful getting an abortion would be now."

Shizuo wanted to laugh at his "Baby Momma" getting told off by the doctor, if it weren't for said doctor turning to face him.

"Shizuo, you also have to give up smoking. It wouldn't be good for Izaya or the baby's health."

"Good luck with that Shizu-chan~ I heard the nicotine was to calm you down? Let's see how you'll handle 6 more months of staying with me." Izaya taunted.

"Why you-" Shizuo began, squeezing his knees and turning away. "It's for the baby. I can do it. And stop denying it. It's your kid too."

"I refuse to accept this is mine. This thing, will never be mine." Izaya huffed, getting up and grabbing his coat.

Shizuo grabbed Izaya's tail and pulled him back. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Home." Izaya put simply. "And if you're coming, get up and let's go. I'm tired."

The blonde followed the raven out of the apartment, bidding his two friends goodbye, before following a swiftly walking Izaya out into the warm air. They remained silent for a little while, before Izaya's pace slowed. The informant went to cover his mouth and went to the nearest alley to let everything out. Awkwardly, Shizuo pat the man on his back, avoiding looking in that direction, and trying to block out liquid hitting the pavement. He rubbed in small circles until the man was done, his hand being slapped away the moment the whole event was over.

"Don't be all buddy-buddy with me every time that happens. I don't need your sympathy." Izaya hissed standing up.

Funny, he didn't remember feeling the Earth move before…

* * *

The next time Izaya opened his eyes, he was lying down. Shooting up and looking at his surroundings, he noticed he was in the comfort of his home, the moon casting its soft iridescent glow in the otherwise dark room. He heard a noise beside him; scaring him almost shitless if he hadn't remembered a certain someone was going to be staying with him. However having the protozoan in bed wasn't exactly what he had in mind.

In fact this out right disgusted him. Why was the protozoan in _his bed?!_

"Heiwajima, get the hell out of my bed!" Izaya yelled, kicking the other with all his might. A startled yell, followed by a _fwump_ and the covers being yanked off the bed was all he heard before a groggy groan was heard, and the disheveled mop of blonde shot up and glared at the other.

"What the hell Izaya! Why did you do that?!"

"I was rather disturbed by the image of your beastly sleeping. Just because we had sex, and I'm having your thing _does not mean_ you get to sleep with me."

Shizuo laughed in a mocking manner. "Like I would sleep with you of my own damn will. After I carried your ass all the way here, you fucking begged me to sleep with you. Something about your hurting so I rubbed your belly and you wouldn't let me go."

Izaya blinked, a rather confused and embarrassed look on his face all the while. "I- I, you have brute strength! Why didn't you just tear away from me and go sleep on the fucking couch?"

"You think I tried? You were sleeping in a position I thought would hurt the baby if I tried anything. So shut the hell up." Shizuo threw the covers at Izaya and stormed out.

Izaya glared Shizuo down until he was out of sight, and then proceeded to sleep this off. How could he have seen him in such a weak state?

No wait, Izaya tried to reason with himself, somehow Shizuo made up with this story just to sleep in a comfortable bed. Yes he felt how soft and fluffy the bed was and wanted to sleep in it? No, Shizuo didn't want to sleep with him… Or comfort him. He certainly did not want the protozoan to comfort him during his weak moment. Maybe he wanted to sleep with-

"Ugh!" Izaya shot up and shook his head. This was making him delirious. Why did the protozoan agree to comfort and sleep with him. They're god forsaken **enemies** , who sleeps with their enemy?

God, who even fucks their enemy? Who gets pregnant by their enemy? This only happens in those bullshit mangas Yamazaki and Kirasawa like to read, and this wasn't a bullshit manga. No, Izaya laughed to himself softly. This was real, fucking life.

So why wasn't he accepting this?

Lying back down, Izaya covered his face with his arm. "I fucking hate you Shizu-chan."

Downstairs Shizuo stared out the huge window of Izaya's office. The lights down below reflected how spotty Shizuo felt right now. It started off when Izaya fainted into his arms in the alley. On his way to the apartment, Shizuo kept stealing glances at the man, his thoughts wondering from how almost human he looked when he wasn't sporting such a look that made him want to slap him with a stop sign, to what exactly Izaya was to him right now.

Were they going to remain enemies after this whole ordeal? Did Izaya really not want to have any type of relationship with their child? Was Izaya that heartless of a man to realize he's giving birth to the one thing he loves more than anything?

"It's a human being Izaya." Shizuo muttered softly, turning in the cushions to find a comfortable place to settle down.

* * *

Xibiya: Gahh, stuff is happening! O^O;  
I don't know how to handle the distress. Am I making Izaya too distressed with this whole thing? Is Shizuo being too soft? I'm dying here because I wanna be in character!

I use to rp Shizuo and Izaya, so it's imperative to me that they stay canon in the least bit, even if they do fall in love (no spoilers, I'm not even sure if I want them to fall in love. I'll see as the story moves on.) Gah!

Please Read and Review! And thanks to those who already have~!

Edit: I realized in the previous chapter I got hetero and homosexual mixed up. So thank you to Kira-chan, for pointing that out to me~ ^-^


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

* * *

Chapter 6: Attempting to get along

Entering his four month one week transition into pregnancy, Izaya found his mobility becoming slightly limited. It wasn't much, but his pains (without the pills) were much worse, and he found himself bedridden for most of the day. With his pills, Izaya was able to do some of the things he wanted, such as work that had been backing up as of late. Honestly, the amount of things people couldn't do on their own was astounding to the informant, as email after email he checked and deleted, contained some of the same things he had already sent over, or was in the middle of investigating. He sighed and leaned back, staring down as his stomach as it now began protruding through most of his shirts.

Shit, he can't go meet people like this. There was no way in hell this was going to ruin his image with this thing inside him.

What pissed the informant off was that in the many prescription bottles was anti depressant pills for him to take. When he found out, he threw them away almost immediately. He wasn't depressed, far from it in fact. If it was for his morbid reoccurring thoughts about the thing inside him, then there was no way in hell he'd ever take those to have a positive outlook on the damn situation.

Hell things were changing far too quickly for Izaya's liking, starting with Shizuo. Apparently, the blonde would make whatever runs needed so Izaya could satisfy his cravings for pizza, certain bitter chocolate, and rice. Izaya was in love with the bland taste of rice and soy sauce. Shizuo found out the hard way once, when Izaya couldn't get his cravings under control he could be the most unbearable asshole, and Izaya made sure to torment the hell out of the blonde until they went to sleep.

Shizuo still bunked on the couch, but on more than one occasion the blonde would come in to Izaya whimpering in pain, sit by his side and stroke the life contained within his belly. He already loved the little guy….or gal, and he wanted the pregnancy to go well, only so it could live. He'd hate to have something happen to it, and blame himself for not supporting Izaya as best he could. So he put up with the odd requests, and the mood swings, only to be earned every night with a peaceful sleeping Izaya and having feel like he was being a good father.

Izaya found this to be a little distracting. He was so use to seeing Shizuo, wild and untamed by anything, and was appalled by this soft almost human side to him. At nights he would stir lightly and watch Shizuo for a moment as he looked almost afraid to touch him and hurt him….or the thing inside. Whatever it was, it was making Shizuo grow soft, and he hated how he went to his aid every time he felt ill, or reminded him to take his medicine. It sickened him to have Shizuo care so much for something that wasn't meant to exist.

"I wish you would disappear." He muttered, getting up to take a shower.

* * *

Shizuo still worked for Tom, but hated how early he had to get up to meet him. His back was sore from sleeping on the couch in odd positions, or being rudely awaken with a kick from Izaya to get up because he was having guest and he'd have to leave. It irritated him, but there wasn't much he could do since the flea was pregnant. Surprisingly, Shizuo tried a number of ways to calm himself down when Izaya was pissing him off, and practiced either at work or on the balcony when Izaya was too busy working to notice he was out. First there was taking his anger out of everyone who didn't pay the trio, since Varona was working with them now. Second was doing meditation when sunset was approaching, and that really calmed him down. And when he and Izaya spat, he would count to three for a while and let out a breath of air before walking away from him and taking a walk.

Apparently, this was noticed by Tom, who chuckled at Shizuo's unusually calm face. "Doing some Zen meditation?" he pointed out looking at the way Shizuo was sitting when they took a break at Russian Sushi.

"Ah yea, and it works as well." Shizuo said with a small laugh.

"A stress reliever? Is this how you get powerful?" Varona asked.

"Powerful..?"

A ding from the bell interrupted the conversation, as a stranger came in and sat at the bar. Frowning, Shizuo noticed he had an attire almost similar to Izaya's, but his hair was brown instead of black. He ordered a plate of fatty tuna, grumbling to himself irritably.

"That damn man. I swear, when I get my hands on him." He pounded the table.

Tom cocked an eyebrow. "It's too early for people to be this upset… Maybe he should adopt your methods and meditate too, Shizuo." Tom joked.

Shizuo didn't pay him any mind. He got harsh vibes from this guy, almost similar to Izaya when he was on business. It pissed him off he looked oddly similar to his baby momma, but not to go off his rocker, he took a few breaths.

"I'll gather some hidden information and see if I can't use that against him."

Shizuo gripped the table so hard he splintered it when he got up. "Oi! Shut up! If you got a problem with someone, go fix it instead of brooding here like a jackass!"

"Shizuo!" Tom called out placing a hand on his friends shoulder. "I'm sorry, you just kind of….uh…"

The man stared at Shizuo with an incredible look, of amazement and fear. "Are you...Heiwajima, Shizuo?"

"Uh? What kinda question is that?" Shizuo grunted.

"You're enemies with Izaya Orihara, aren't you?"

This took Shizuo off guard. He himself wasn't sure if he and Izaya were enemies, though the flea probably still did see them as such. And probably telling this guy that Izaya was his baby momma would be the biggest mistake ever, considering he hasn't even told Tom about his little situation. With a small cough, he shrugged his shoulders.

"Enemies don't even begin to tell what I think of that bastard flea." He muttered.

"I see. Well I hate Izaya too. He uses me to do his dirty work after a bad incident in middle school. Maybe we can take him out togeth- Gah!"

 **Crash** , his body flew threw the window at record speed, Simon panicking from the outside then looking through to see a calm Shizuo looking back. His knuckles ached a little from the impact. After giving it a little check, the blonde stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Lay a hand on the flea, and I'll do something more personal than punching you through a window." He growled as he stalked off towards the park to meditate.

* * *

Later that night, Izaya heard the front door open, and par usual Shizuo walked in with Russian Sushi for the informant to eat. The two had a brief stare down, in which Shizuo walked closer to the man and hugged him.

Izaya blinked in confusion and was rendered speechless.

"Izaya, let's get along for the remainder of the pregnancy. I don't care if you'll still hate me after this, but if anything were to happen to you, and I can't protect you, and we lose the baby, it'll be my fault."

"What are you going on about protozoan? You want to stop fighting and go out like a normal couple?" Izaya scoffed.

"Well, no, but we could try to make up and deal with this until the baby comes. I'm only making up with you for the baby…because I don't want it…or you hurt."

Izaya remained silent for a while and sighed. "Fine."

* * *

Xibiya: Slow chapter...but there are little hints in what I want to happen

I think I'm going to speed things up a smidge because I have an idea I want to execute and it can only be done around the 5 month mark.  
I hope this won't ruin things for you guys T-T Sorreh~

Im really surprised with Passion though. Its kinda like an opposite feeling to this story, and tons of people like it. If you haven't read it, check it out~

Read, Review~! :D


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

* * *

Chapter 7:Complicated Flea

"Ahh…I think I'm getting an image." Shinra muttered, sliding the probe across Izaya's jelly covered belly. The informant looked at the screen with mild confusion, and amusement, as he also caught the perplex face of Shizuo, who was trying to make heads and tails of the whole thing in general.

The doctor frowned momentarily before his face brightened and he pointed to a disfigured blob on the screen. "This is your baby." Shinra chuckled as he circled the whole thing.

Shizuo's face brightened a little, as Shinra pointed out where the head was, and there the body was positioned. All the while, Izaya had his face turned in disgust, and grunted as Shinra tried to locate if the child was a male or female. He may have come to a temporary agreement to get along with Shizuo for the remainder of the pregnancy, but the whole ordeal still remained unbelievable to him. When Shinra and Shizuo were done cooing over the picture and Shinra went to print off the pictures, Izaya hurriedly pulled down his shirt to cover his stomach.

He felt so exposed when everyone was viewing the growing flesh, and it disgusted him. It was like a weakness only Shizuo was able to exploit. When Shinra returned he also had papers from when he examined Izaya before the ultrasound.

"Izaya, you barely gained any weight within the past month. You need to eat more, or you'll stress out the baby." Shinra sighed and placed them in a folder.

"He does eat." Shizuo interjected. His money wasn't going to waste, that much his wallet could tell.

Shinra wanted to banter back but this was Shizuo, and he didn't want to risk anything happening here. "Well, comparing to the last visit we had, Izaya lost a few pounds. It isn't recommended skimping on meals, or the child will be born with deformities."

Shizuo's heart sunk deep into his gut, and stealing a glance at Izaya, he wasn't able to read his face. It was blank, and cold, sending shivers up Shizuo's spine. "I'll make sure he eats more then."

"I do eat Shizu-chan." Izaya huffed and walked out in a hurry, uncomfortable with the situation. Shizuo followed suit, asking Shinra to fax everything to his office and hurried to catch up with the informant.

It was freezing outside. Shizuo took one step out of the complex and shivered violently, buckling his arms to his side and in two long strides caught up with Izaya. The informant never went anywhere without his jacket, however this time he donned a long fur trim trench coat to adapt to the dropping temperatures. It wasn't quite winter yet, but the dip was still a drastic change from the warm weather they were getting a while back. The two walk in tense silence all the way to Izaya's apartment, and as soon as Shizuo kicks the door shut, his mouth flew open.

"Why aren't you gaining weight Izaya?" The blond questioned, kicking off his shoes, while the raven groaned in irritation.

"I don't know Shizu-chan. Maybe I just can't. You know I eat, you see me eat. Maybe something wrong is going on with the pregnancy. After all, I am a male, and shouldn't be all huge and round like this." Izaya huffed angrily.

"Well, you're going to eat more. I don't want anything bad to happen to our kid."

"Your kid Shizu-chan. Not mine."

Shizuo counted to three in his head, before blowing out and approaching Izaya again. The man was just starting on his work, when Shizuo leaned over and glared at him. "You need to stop working so much. You're pregnant Izaya, you'll stress yourself out and that can harm the baby."

The informant quit typing, and slammed his hands on the desk, getting up to face the blonde body guard. "Dammit Shizuo, stop nagging me! Stop pretending you fucking care about me! You're just using me so you can have this thing, and once it's born you'll desert me and go about your life!"

Taken slightly aback, Shizuo opened his mouth to speak, but Izaya lashed out first.

"You're only worried about the safety of this parasite; you could give less than a damn about me. You're only pretending to care about me through the damn thing, because if something were to happen to me, something happens to your fucking protozoan shit!"

"Izaya-"

"And don't you dare tell me that it's not true!" Izaya ranted on.

"Izaya!"

"I hate you Shizu-chan!"

"For the love of all things living on Earth, Izaya, shut the hell up and listen to yourself!" Shizuo growled and grabbed Izaya, bringing him into a hug. The smaller man's breath hitched, being surrounded in the warmth of the older.

"Calm down dammit. I told you, we could make this work if you just cooperate. Its true, I do care about the kid, but if I didn't care about you, would I really have done this? I'm not a cruel heartless bastard, Izaya."

"Fuck you Shizu-chan…" Izaya muttered, but not moving away from Shizuo's hold. He took a few easy breaths before looking up at the blonde. Has his eyes always been that caring, and brown?

Izaya found his face traveling up to meet the blond's, when a noise by the door pulled them apart. Awkwardly, Shizuo stood by Izaya's desk while the other made his way to his desk, and turned to his secretary as she handed him some papers. With a sigh, Shizuo grumbled and went into the kitchen to grab some milk.

Some odd hours passed by, when Izaya pulled himself away from his work with a stretch. He blew out some air and looked over at the couch, where his blond roommate was idly switching channels on the TV. He felt a little puckish, but wasn't in the mood to eat. However, he wanted Shizuo off his case about eating, so he walked up to the blond and plopped next to him with his signature grin.

"Shi~zu~cha~n. Let's go get something to eat." Izaya sang.

The blond eyes him curiously and shrugs. "What did you want? I'll go pick it up." He asked getting up.

"Actually," the informant interjected, getting up. "I thought we could go out together."

"You mean us…together…go out to eat?" Shizuo asked confused. "Like….as in a date?"

Izaya rolled his eyes. "No Shizu-chan. Two guys can go out and eat without having to date one another. It's just a social outing. Just the two of us, and I'll pay."

"Uhm, sure." Shizuo scratched his head, and followed Izaya to the door, as the pregnant man gave him a smile and skipped ahead.

The two stopped by a decently appealing Chinese buffet, where they got a few plates to eat and set out on filling their hunger. They talked lightly about a few things, such as the current tranquil in Ikebukuro now that the two weren't fighting, and how their day relatively was to them. Shizuo went over his work schedule for the week, while Izaya told him a little bit of what he wanted to do. As they were finishing up their supper, Shizuo placed his bowl to the side.

"What did you want to name the baby?"

Izaya cringed slightly at the question and eyed the blonde carefully. Neither one had wanted the night ruined, nor did Izaya know what he was supposed to say at the moment. He gave out a long sigh and shrugged. "I don't know Shizu-chan."

Izaya didn't miss the sad look that crossed the blond's face before he went back to eating the last of his food. "Shinra said we should start picking out names for the baby. Your next appointment should tell us whether it's a boy or girl."

"That's nice." Izaya answered coldly, staring down at the table. Of all the things Izaya wanted to talk about, the thing inside him wasn't one. In fact he was outright trying to avoid talking about the now squirming parasite inside. He felt a light pinch and winced; Shizuo now finished with his meal and called a waitress over to take up their plates.

Izaya, true to his word, paid for the meal and the two walked back to Izaya's apartment. Once there, it didn't take Shizuo long to get tired, and start his nightly routine of showering, brushing his teeth, taking out a set of clothes for work, and getting comfortable on the couch, while Izaya went back to work.

Shizuo woke in the middle of his deep sleep, feeling the need to relieve himself before continuing on with his sleep. Looking over at the time, he would have to get up in about three hours to go to work. A tired sigh escaped his lips as he reached the height of the stairs and made his way towards the bathroom. He heard a choking noise, followed by liquid hitting the toilet bowl and coughing. Grabbing the door knob, Shizuo twisted it and found it locked, but not for long. His foot kicked it aside to expose to him Izaya hunched over the toilet.

Shizuo wasn't sure what crossed Izaya's mind, but the situation looked so weird.

"Izaya?"

"Shizu…" Izaya hiccupped before his face hit the bowl again.

Shizuo went over to help the informant by rubbing his back, and looked around. He reached for the man's hand, and retracted it quickly. "The fuck?"

Izaya barely had time to react to anything when Shizuo lifted his saliva coated fingers. "Izaya what were you doing?"

"Sh-shizu…." Izaya huffed out tiredly, and passed out in his arms.

Panicked, Shizuo lifted the man into his arms. Was he always this light, Shizuo wondered as he ran out and grabbed his phone, and Izaya's spare keys. He tried to adjust his hold on the informant as he searched through his list to find Shinra's number. The doctor picked up on the second ring.

"Shizuo?" Shinra spoke into the phone half tiredly.

"Oi, Izaya was throwing up and stuff and passed out. I'm on my way over." Shizuo spoke, surprisingly calm considering that the baby might be at risk over this.

"He was throwing up? Is he sick?" Shinra asked, from his place he was sitting up from his desk and drooled on papers.

"I don't know if he got food poisoning from dinner, but his hands are covered in spit." Shizuo stopped at the intersection and looked at Izaya. His face seemed tired, even as he slept. Was he not getting any sleep either?

"I'll have Celty meet you half way. Hurry up and bring him here. I think I know why Izaya isn't gaining weight."

* * *

Xibiya: Sorry for the wait everyone~ School kinda got in the way, and now I have to prepare for my anniversary, and my fiance's birthday, and exams, and getting my stuff together for Animazement, and all kinds of stuff. GAH

I hope this chapter will make do for you all, because I will not update next week or the week after (Sorry!) but I will have 2 chapters written when I come back!

Until then, bye bai bi~! Please fav and reveiw~ Thank you~!


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

 **[Trigger Warning for those who have eating disorders. As someone who has been through this as well, please seek help.]**

* * *

Chapter 8: Out of Body Realization

 _'When did I decide that this is what I wanted to do with my body?'_

Izaya looked at himself in the mirror, palm touching the cool surface of the reflector. It showed him everything he didn't want to see. What he didn't like. And he hated it. He slammed his fist on the counter of the sink and walked out of the bathroom. Shizuo was gone for the day, and he was craving some chocolate. The thought of him craving irritated him, and sometimes he wished he didn't ask Shizuo so carelessly to get him anything. It was all to satisfy this thing inside him, and not himself. He couldn't eat his fatty tuna like he wished he could. He tried everything to trick himself into wanting it, but nothing. Coffee he missed dearly as well, and his pills were taken away from him by Shizuo and Shinra wouldn't prescribe him any more until after the birth of the parasite.

Pulling his black shirt over his head, The informant took a deep breath and walked to his desk. A plate left on his desk caught him off guard. It must have been left by Shizuo; he concluded and sat down to eat it. Despite everything Izaya thought the blond was surprisingly a decent cook. It wasn't five star rating, but Izaya enjoyed this home cooked meal without having to worry if it could possibly be poisoned.

Once Izaya was finished with his meal, he placed his head on the desk, and groaned. No work yet, and he was bored. He sat up quickly and turned to his chatroom, with a huff he sent the empty chatroom a message.

 **Kanra: Yoo~ Kanra here!**

 **Kanra: Did I get on early? Where are you guys?**

 **Kanra: You all should be flocking to this site and getting on this instant! Humph!**

 **Kanra: I'll remember this! How dare you all hurt my feelings!**

 **-Kanra has left the chat room-**

 **-No one is in the chat room-**

Izaya slid backwards in his chair and slouched. He knew exactly where everyone was. Taro, and Saika were in school, and Setton was probably with her roommate or cycling around Ikebukuro.

He looked down at his stomach in disgust, and stood up to go to the bathroom. Standing over the toilet Izaya wearily eyed the scale. Somehow his eyes didn't want to peel away from it… Why? He felt so disgusted, as to what he was about to do. He zipped his pants and turned to the scale. With two steps he waited until the numbers stilled. What he saw made him want to puke.

"Dammit."

He couldn't even feign like he didn't see the numbers. They were far too above his normal weight. At almost 200 pounds, Izaya was progressing smoothly through his pregnancy, although Shinra kept pushing for him to gain a few more pounds to be on the safe side. He didn't like this.

"I want to puke." Izaya muttered to himself with a sadistic laugh. He stopped short of everything when he looked to the toilet.

 _'Do I want to do this?'_

His thoughts sank when he knew what he was about to do, and if Shizuo found out, how disappointed he would be. Biting his lip, he stared at his hand and leaned over the toilet, lifting his fingers to his mouth.

 _'What will Shizuo do if he finds out?'_

* * *

Despite his body's screams for consumption, Izaya only ate when it was necessary, like when he ate in front of Shizuo. Other wise, he quit eating all together. Every so often he'd check his weight and feel glad it was dropping, slowly but surely. He couldn't do more than this however, and he refused to get caught by Shizuo. He couldn't allow Shizuo to know what he was doing, for he was sure malnutrition was something that was hurting the baby.

Wait...why did he care about Shizuo and his concern for the parasite? It was eating his life away. Nothing seemed consistent to him in the least. The informant had strayed from his body and let it do his normal routines for him. His mind plagued with thoughts that was abnormal for him to think, flushed him completely out of his normalcy. If Shizuo were paying more attention he could see.

 _'Would Shizuo leave me if something were to happen?'_

 _'How would the protozoan look at me when he finds out what I've been doing?'_

Crimson eyes were dulled of life for another two weeks.

* * *

"Oi Izaya."

The raven turned to see a fully dressed Shizuo standing above him, brows knit together. "It's time for your appointment. Hurry up and get ready."

Izaya watched as Shizuo walked out of his room to wait while the pregnant man got ready. He stared at the sliver of sun that tried to break through the curtains. Ah, he had lost all sense of time. He got up from the bed, his body feeling heavy and sluggish, as he made his way to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

He walked quietly to Shinra's house with Shizuo and went through the normal procedures of being weighed, and having his blood pressure taken. Izaya didn't miss the face his friend was giving the readings, but stayed quiet about it. He was then guided to the bed and told to lie down while he got some extra equipment and Shizuo. There they did the ultra sound.

 _'That disgusting thing…'_ Izaya thought bitterly. _'If it weren't for this I wouldn't feel so…so…'_

Brows knit together the moment Shinra had finished and walked away to do something in the back before returning. He was out of the conversation before he tuned in to Shinra's words.

"Izaya, you barely gained any weight within the past month."

If anyone had been paying attention, they would have noticed the look of fear in his eyes. He looked at Shizuo as he defended Izaya and his eating habits. Apparently everything seemed to have been normal. Then Shinra hit another nail already hammered deep within Izaya's gut.

"It isn't recommended skimping on meals or the child will be born with deformities."

The informant wanted nothing more than to cut Shinra's vocal chords out of his throat.

"I'll make sure he eats then." Shizuo said which immediately caused the other to panic and become irritable.

"I do eat Shizu-chan." And with that he left before Shinra could say anything more to the two and suspect Izaya was doing anything more. He knew he would get questioned by the blond as soon as they got home, and on the dot Shizuo asked him the million dollar question the moment the informant wanted to distract himself.

After his outburst, Shizuo pulled the man into a hug.

 _'No..No…No….Shizu-chan….'_

Izaya looked up at the bartender. _'Shizuo don't get to close…'_

* * *

The raven stood in front of the glass window, thinking of all the times he use to feel so powerful being up so high above the crowd. He was a god, and he loved all his humans. He had to be in control of everything. Izaya was god, and he loved to feel like he was at the peak of his prime every time something went his way. That was, until his rendezvous with Shizuo turned everything upside down.

His earlier conversation with Shizuo hit him hard; finding out the gender of the parasite inside him and choosing a name for it… Why was Shizuo trying to include him in this? He wanted no part of the monster once it's born. He hadn't done a thing for it since finding out he was pregnant. Shizuo tried; he noticed every so often he would carry in a box of pampers and wipes and set it in an unused room, but his pay check was stretched between rent, for an apartment Izaya barely remembered Shizuo had for he had stayed with him for two months now, and Izaya's needs.

He sighed, as he saw his barely reflected image show in the window. "When did I decide this is what I wanted to do?" Izaya asked himself as he turned away from the image, and trotted up the stairs to the bathroom.

Izaya wanted to erase himself, and continued trying to throw up everything, including the child within. The Izaya he saw, he hated more than he hated Shizuo.

 _'Erase….Erase…'_

Izaya took a gasp of air when he stopped throwing up food and was actually coughing up acids from his stomach. His throat burned, but he had a lot to eat, and wanted it all gone. He felt light headed as well.

 _'What will Shizu-chan do if he saw this?'_

At that moment, the door flew open, and crimson eyes met mocha ones. Izaya felt so ill with himself, he threw up again.

 _'Shizu-chan… he...'_

Izaya barely noticed anything that was going on around him, even as Shizuo picked up and touched the hand he shoves down his throat to make himself throw up. He heard Shizuo ask him something, but his mind was so fogged, and everything began to black out.

"Sh- shizu…"

 _'…..I'm sorry.'_

* * *

Izaya woke up, his vision hazy at first but the more be blinked the better his vision got until he could see things that looked familiar. The raven heard something beeping next to him, and something weird in his arms. Water dripped somewhere near his ears, and voices, that at first were faint murmurs became audible whispers.

"I knew he hadn't been eating, but I didn't think Izaya would take it as far as making himself throw up." came Shinra's voice of distress.

Whoever he was talking to was silent; then came a sigh from Shinra.

"If he's doing this, he isn't taking the anti-depressant pills I prescribed him. I thought he was doing okay, but I guess Izaya eluded me. If he keeps this up, there's a chance that not only is your child going to be born with possible fatal birth defects, but it will be a premature child as well. If you want your child to be safe, Izaya has to get better, and fast, or things are looking up for the both of them."

Izaya felt his body go cold.

"I see." came Shizuo's voice.

Izaya wasn't sure what kind of tone Shizuo was using. His hands gripped tight to the covers. What could he say? What could he do?

For once, Izaya felt a sense of overwhelming fear for Shizuo.

* * *

Xibiya: I decided since I had this already written down, why not put it up?

Now you guys know what Izaya was thinking when this whole thing was going down. Now these questions arise

Will the baby be ok? What about Shizuo and Izaya's relationship? Where is the Shizaya!? :V

All will be answered soon~!

Please reveiw, and I might post a chapter sooner rather than later!


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

 **[Warning: Lemon scene~]  
**

* * *

Chapter 9: Falling

Izaya was sitting in a daze, when Shinra changed his filter. On the other side of the door, Izaya could see Shizuo sitting on the couched, turned away from him. Shinra sighed and jiggled the bag a little, to get the fluids siphoning through the tube, before placing his hands on his hips.

"You really hurt Shizuo, you know."

Izaya flinched a little, covering it up with a laugh. "Hah, I was only doing what was benefiting me. I told you I didn't want this thing."

"Still, Izaya," Shinra sighed, knowing Izaya was going to be stubborn all the while instead of admitting he was wrong. "Shizuo thought he could trust you to take care of yourself. He feels awful for not realizing what you were doing to yourself. He even stood up for you without knowing what you were dong behind his back."

"What difference does it make? Why is it always about Shizu-chan? Why is it always Shizu-chan!? What about me? I was done wrong first and you expect me to follow along with this?"

"Izaya-"

The raven turned away biting his lip. "I never wanted this. You're all being selfish!"

The room went quiet for a moment, Shinra's footsteps walking away from him followed after, leaving Izaya alone in the room. Izaya knew very well he was wrong for breaking Shizuo's trust. He had promised to have the parasite for him, however he was doing things that could put it at harm. Still, Izaya didn't want this.

Holding his head, the raven laid back down. "Shizu-chan…"

"What?"

Izaya looked over to the blonde, sitting up quickly. "Sh-Shizu!"

The two sat in awkward silence, Izaya fumbling with his hands. "Shizuo… I… I'm sorry."

"Fuck you are. You're sorry as hell. You can't even do one thing right. We both fucked up, and we're bringing a child into the world. I asked you one thing, Izaya. Have the child, and we'll be out of your hair. Lately I thought that maybe, _just maybe_ , we could work out a little something, not only between us, but the child too. But I see nothing is gunna change. You're still going to be a fucking, selfish asshole, and not take responsibility for both of our actions."

Izaya looked down and scoffed. "I didn't want this."

"You think I wanted this? I surely didn't want to have a child with you of all people, but look at how we fucked up there? Now suck it up for four more months, and your life will be back to fucking normal." Shizuo growled gripping the rails.

"You think everything will be normal after this?" Izaya snapped. "I'm never gunna forget I had a kid inside of me! Every time I see you, I'll see kid too! Dammit, do you not understand the basic psychological trauma that comes with this?"

"Well trauma wouldn't be trauma, if you would fucking cooperate, and things could go smoothly. However, you're going to have to push aside your selfishness and get over it!" Shizuo sighed to keep his tone down. He'd done so well the past two months with keeping his anger under control, but Izaya's recent action put him on edge. "You better hope my child is alright, Izaya."

Izaya watched the blond walk out of the room, leaving him to the medical devices. Instinctively, Izaya guided a hand toward his belly and rubbed it. "Shizuo…"

* * *

To Shizuo's relief, the baby was fine still. Izaya would have to gain weight so that the child would get its nutrition from Izaya and not through a needle; otherwise the informant was fine as well. Shizuo refused to talk to Izaya about anything as soon as they got to his home the next day. The ex-bartender sat on the couch, ignoring the raven as he stopped in the middle of the room. He stared at the back of his head, quickly making his way over to the blonde.

"Shizu-chan?"

Ignoring him, the blonde continued looking forward. Izaya scowled and stood in front of him.

"Shizu-chan." Izaya called out louder.

Just as the body guard was getting up, Izaya grabbed his hand. "Don't you ignore me."

The two stood still; the cold and dwarfed hands of Izaya, shaking in Shizuo's. He heard a hiccup, and a soft whimper. Hands wrapped around Shizuo's waist, and a wet face dug into his back. Shizuo turned a little, and pulled Izaya around him, comforting the pregnant raven with a hug, as he cried. Izaya hardly ever cried, and Shizuo never seen him cry before. Shizuo stayed quiet while the raven let his emotions out.

"I'm sorry Izaya." Shizuo whispered, and kissed his forehead.

Izaya looked up at Shizuo, and pressed his lips gently against the other. Shizuo guided his hand up to the raven's face, cupping it softly, wiping away the left over mark of tears and fresh new ones. Stroking his cheeks with one hand, Shizuo deepened the kiss, and with his other hand, pulled the pregnant raven as close as he could. Izaya moved his hands from the uncomfortable position around Shizuo's waist, to around his neck and pressed closer. When they broke apart, it didn't take either one long to realize what the other wanted.

"Shizu-chan, take me…" Izaya huffed with a faint tint covering his face.

Complying, Shizuo carried the raven bridal style up to his room, a drastic change from what happened five months ago. Gently laying him on the bed, the blond resumed kissing the raven, and keeping his body hovered over the belly. Breaking the kiss, Shizuo trailed his lips downward, to the junction of his neck. Izaya squirmed underneath, letting out small pants, and gasps of pleasure.

"Shizu…" he whispered pleasurably.

Chuckling slightly, Shizuo licked on Izaya's neck, eliciting a subtle moan from the other. Gently nibbling on his skin, Shizuo trailed one hand down his chest, grazing over his nipple. Izaya moaned louder, and pushed his chest into the other.

"Mnn, it hurts…" Izaya panted. This spot had become tender, due to pregnancy, and the informant had to do everything in his power to keep himself from yelping or moaning when he dressed and showered.

"I'm sorry." Shizuo whispered as his mouth ghosted over the tender skin before licking them and then sucking.

Izaya began thrusting his lower regions for alleviation. It was becoming too tight for him to stand. "Ahh Shizuo, take me…It hurts." He moaned, pushing the blond away from his chest.

"You don't like foreplay anymore?" Shizuo teased, but he was feeling the rush and urgency to release himself as well.

"I've wanted to fuck for a while now. No foreplay. Just get on with it already."

"No lube?"

Izaya scowled, and pointed to the drawer. "You better use it. And do it gently this time."

Shizuo chuckled and reached over to the nightstand to grab the lube. Squirting a bit in his hand, he had Izaya undress them both while he warmed it up. Once both cocks were exposed to the cool air, Shizuo lathered his length in the liquid. He let out gentle moans as he temporarily pleasured himself before his mind begged him to be trapped in Izaya's tight ass. He threw the informants legs over his shoulders, with a lick of his lips and eased his way inside Izaya's tight walls. Izaya looked back as Shizuo sheathed into him, groaning out in pain, then gripped the bed sheets.

Both men waited until they were adjusted, then Izaya gave the signal to move. Izaya's painful groans turned quickly to pleasurable moans, and he moved along with Shizuo's thrusting. He begged the man to move faster, and egged him to hit that one spot that would make him see stars. He buried his head into the sheets seeing white as Shizuo hit his sweet spot.

"Ahh! Ahha, again!" Izaya yelled out, his cock twitching in ecstasy.

Happy to comply, Shizuo grabbed onto Izaya's hips, and helped him thrust to his rhythm. The blonde bent over and kissed his belly. "Having fun in there?" he asked the belly.

The raven blushed when their eyes met, before he squeezed them shut again. His climax was coming so close. "Sh- Hnng!"

Shizuo also felt his coming and decided to finish within a few thrusts. Izaya came first, then Shizuo, both of them tuckered out afterwards. Shizuo pulled the raven into his arms; Izaya didn't complain, and the two fell asleep side by side that afternoon.

* * *

Xibiya: Unf~ yaoi ( **nose bleeding** )

I have no idea how updating will occur next week since I wont be in school or online much cuz I'll be at home and with my fiance~

So if I dont update next week, look for chapter ten after next week for sure!

Drop a review please~ And look at my profile for a poll! It would mean a lot if you voted.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

* * *

Chapter: 10: The days after

Izaya woke up to a dark room, a sore ass, and something warm breathing down his neck. He mentally replayed everything in his head, and turned over to see Shizuo's face buried in the pillows. Unlike the first time Izaya caught Shizuo in his bed, this was a lot different. He turned his body slightly to face the blond, and touched his face lightly.

Shizuo looked like a completely different man now; so different than the monster he knew before the events between them occurred. Thin fingers ghosted over his lips, the warm breath of Shizuo tickling his fingers lightly. The raven moved down into the covers, sleep over taking him again. He moved his body into Shizuo's arms and slipped back into a comfortable sleep.

It was a luxury to Shizuo to have slept in a bed for once. As the sun tried to fight through the curtains, the bodyguard opened his eyes and stretched. A light moan from below him reminded the blond who he was sharing the bed with and the events of the previous afternoon. With a smile, Shizuo curled the informant into his hold and stroked his stomach tenderly.

This was a moment of bliss Shizuo wished he could have forever. Laying comfortably on a warm, cushioned bed next to someone he…

Shizuo frowned inwardly. He didn't love Izaya. He had a mutual attraction to the flea that much the body guard knew. But he couldn't have fallen for the man in just a few short months, even with all the crap the informant put him through, and the moment they shared last night. And there was no way in hell; Izaya would think the same of him.

After all they were enemies, and enemies don't fall in love with each other…

Do they?

A soft mutter from below him pulled Shizuo out of his thoughts, as Izaya's sleep heavy eyes fluttered open, and he let out a soft yawn. Shizuo uncoiled his arms from around the man and let him sit up; the blonde enjoying the messy bed hair unbeknownst to the pregnant man. Crimson eyes landed on mocha ones for a moment, then Izaya got up and plodded to the bathroom.

Shizuo fully expected to get kicked off the bed or yelled at for sleeping with the informant, but he was surprised. Perhaps there could be a chance for the two to step off the enemy lines and become something more? Shizuo's heart fluttered a bit at the thought.

Since it was Shizuo's rare day off, He wanted the raven to accompany him to the store to look for more baby items. This earned Shizuo a light scowl, but nothing more than that facial wise.

"Why don't you ask Shinra, or Celty? I don't like going into public looking fat." Izaya complained and went back to his computer and a bag of potato chips.

"Izaya, I don't have a lot of money for some items. So it would be a lot more helpful if you were around to help." Shizuo sighed, not wanting to start an argument. "And you don't look fat Izaya. You're pregnant."

"Yes I am, and I don't want my humans staring at me weirdly while I'm walking around with a pregnant belly. It's abnormal."

"Why don't you dress like a girl then? You have the body for it."

The two men sat in silence for a moment, and Izaya could see Shizuo was mentally killing himself for letting that comment slip from his mouth. With a sigh, Izaya pushed away from his desk, avoiding Shizuo's confused gaze in the process, and walked to his room shutting the door. The blonde wondered if he had said something that offended the raven, and with a defeated sigh planned another time to go to the store when he had more money.

Hearing a number of doors opening and closing, Shizuo had to wonder what Izaya was doing however. He wanted to follow, but at the same time he wanted to wait and see if the flea was going to come back and work. He heard foot steps approaching the stares, and when Izaya came into view, Shizuo's mouth dropped. Izaya put his hair into a wig and styled it, letting the locks fall past his shoulders. He still wore a dark shirt, but a cute skirt gave him the appearance of a girl, along with the long boots that barely touched his knees. He even put on make-up, Shizuo noticed as Izaya walked closer. The raven averted his eyes slightly.

"S-stop looking at me like that. It's weird."

"Tch!" Shizuo scoffed and shrugged. "Why did you get all prettied up for? Of course Imma stare at you. You look p-"

Shizuo stopped mid-sentence; both men gazing awkwardly at one another. "L-let's go to the store."

Izaya nodded, hiding his growing blush, and followed behind the blond.

Outside, the two walked side by side. Here and there, there were couples holding hands and the like. Izaya felt odd walking like this with Shizuo. Not holding hands like the others, or linking arms.

'What is love..?'

Izaya blinked with confusion, as this question never crossed his mind once before. What was love? Was it sticking each other's faces into each other, and eating their lips off? Was it hugging and feeling warm next to someone else? What was it?

Looking at the blond hair in front of him, Izaya furrowed his brows and looked at his hand. He wanted to hold it. He needed to hold it. The raven slowly swung his arm out and touched Shizuo's arm lightly.

"Shizu-chan."

"Izaya?"

Izaya blinked and looked at the store next to him. "This is a good place to start."

"Ah, is that so? We'll start here then." Shizuo chuckled and walked inside. "What should we get first? I'm not sure what…"

Izaya stood frozen outside of the all-purpose baby store. Why didn't he ask? Why had he conveniently pointed out this store? Shaking his head, Izaya walked in with him, seeing Shizuo talking with a female store clerk. The woman noticed him and smiled with glee.

"Aww, this must be the proud mother." She squealed and went over to Izaya. "And your name, Mrs. Heiwajima?"

Ah?

Izaya darted his eyes towards Shizuo, and back to the clerk. "K-Kanra…Kanra Heiwajima."

"Kanra-chan? That's so cute! Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?"

"N-no…" Izaya answered nervously, becoming sick. Why did he agree to this?

"Ahh, let's go look for gender neutral baby items then. I have a great selection for you and the father."

Izaya was dragged from aisle to aisle, picking out assorted items while Shizuo carried everything. The blond could see he was uncomfortable with everything, as the lady commonly referred to the baby as what it was, and each time, Izaya would freeze up and regain his composure. Shizuo frowned to himself each time, and tried to interject each time, but it was obviously the woman was focused on the "mother" and child. When they were done, Shizuo took Izaya to the park to rest. The two sighed and looked at the many items Izaya spent his money on.

"Ahh, we got a lot of stuff heh?" Izaya chuckled and eyed everything warily. "That lady seemed awfully nice ne~ and very helpful."

"Izaya, are you alright?"

"Of course I am."

"Liar."

Things got uncomfortably serious between the two. "Why did you…Why did you get all dressed up for? Why did you come along even though everything about the pregnancy makes you uncomfortable? Why are you…?"

"Shizu-chan wants it right?"

Shizuo looked at Izaya in mild confusion, while Izaya looked at his stomach and rubbed it a little. "I don't want to…hurt you anymore… It's just as you said, stupid monster. I was sorry yesterday, but now…I'm going to try and go through the rest of this until this thing is out of me."

Shizuo smiled, however it was cut short when Izaya threw him a dart piercing glare. "However, when this is all over, I'm going to resume making your life a living hell."

The duo stared at each other for a moment. Izaya stared at Shizuo's face in shock, as the man laughed and held his sides.

"You're still the bastard I always knew you were, Izaya. Fine; we'll continue on until the child in born. After that, I'm going to kill you, like I promised."

The two stared each other down. _After all….enemies can't fall in love_

* * *

Xibiya: Aish~ Things are moving in such a confusing way. Well, well~ From here on, things are gunna get pretty tense between everyone. Be prepared to get your feels ripped~ (or I'll try my best to tear up your feels...Haha-)

Reviews~?


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

 **[Warning: Child birth.]**

* * *

Chapter 11: Birth

Izaya entered his sixth month of pregnancy, and from the way things were looking, Shizuo was worried something bad was going to happen soon. Ever since that night, Izaya allowed Shizuo to sleep beside the raven. He felt more comfortable with the blond by him, and it made sleep easier to succumb to. He enjoyed the late night belly rub, that would some times get him in the mood, but he was far too sleepy to carry anything out most nights. And when the raven began moaning at night because his back hurt, or he felt severely ill most morning, Shizuo had good reasoning to be worried. As much as Shizuo wanted to tell Shinra what had been going on for the past week with Izaya, the raven insisted that it would pass.

"I probably caught a bug Shizu-chan." Izaya sighed, as he was bedridden once again. "I'll feel better soon."

Shizuo kneeled down and brushed the raven's hair aside. So far, the relationship for the two had been going up, mostly for the sake of the child. They agreed on a reunion to raise the child; however Shizuo was skeptical, for Izaya had yet to call the baby exactly what it is. Though he doesn't use harsh insults like "protozoan shit", "monster", or "parasite" anymore, Izaya still avoided using the word baby. Shizuo didn't have the heart to call Izaya out on it. He rather liked the peace between the two.

Shinra was able to identify the child as a boy. Izaya gave Shizuo the full right to name his son, and the blonde settled on naming the child Tsugaru. Shizuo was excited for his son to be coming in just a few short months. He already got his apartment ready for the newcomer, having Varona, and Tom to help him out as well. When he told his supervisor about what had happened, Tom was both surprised and stoked for the body guard, promising to do everything he could as the "grandfather" of the child. Varona extended her congratulations and promised to help out as well.

Izaya on the other hand, was getting calls from Shiki. The information broker wasn't out on the field as much as Shiki would like him, and not having the informant in the open where he could be watched, put Shiki on edge. Izaya kept all his contacts in the dark and had refused to meet with anyone in person. Shizuo understood this well, and yet he knew this was really pressing it.

The effects seemed to be taking it's toll on the informant. Though he's gotten better at taking care of himself, mostly due to Shizuo over seeing him and making sure he was taking care of himself, Izaya was feeling ill once again, and his back began acting up more than usual. He told himself, and Shizuo, that this was nothing more than a cold that he would get over eventually.

He told Shizuo this for five days, each day becoming increasingly worse for Izaya. On the sixth night, Shizuo was sleeping on the couch, when he heard Izaya crying out in pain. Not just crying in pain, but screaming. Shizuo ran up stairs to Izaya cringing and writhing in pain, sweat soaking his skin, and where he was sleeping, even with the covers tossed on the floor. Through clenched teeth, Izaya managed to breath and heave.

"Izaya," Shizuo bent down, face stricken with worry. "I'm calling Shinra."

"Sh-shizu…ahh…It hurts! Take it out!" Izaya screamed and gripped the pillow tightly.

* * *

"Well… I'm not sure if he's in labor or not. However, I'd like to keep him under watch for a little while to see if anything has happened." Shinra told Shizuo. The blond was waiting in Shinra's living room, anxiously waiting to see if Izaya and the baby was going to be alright

He let out a sigh of relief. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if anything happened to the two.

"That's good. I leave them in your care then Shinra." Shizuo bowed, his eyes going to Izaya through the see through glass. He was on a few monitors and has an IV in his arm. Shizuo was worried something would happen, but trusted Shinra to take care of the informant.

"If anything happens-"

"I'll be sure to alert you right away, Shizuo." Shinra answered his friend in the most reassuring tone.

* * *

What was this?

Izaya opened his eyes to a blinding white light. It felt warm; tempting him back to sleep. Yes perhaps he should go back to sleep. There was nothing he cared about going on anyways…

At least that's what he would have liked if a lightning shock of pain hadn't abruptly shattered the white glass and plunging him into darkness. Izaya let out a scream of agony, and sobbing. Hearing footsteps, Izaya darted his eyes to the door where a serious Shinra ran to him.

"Izaya, are you alright?"

"It-" Izaya cut himself off with another scream. "GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!"

Izaya twisted his body, gasping for air. "Help me…"

Shizuo sat by Izaya's side, the other being put under medication to keep him from suffering. Shinra concluded that Izaya was indeed going through labor; however it was far too early for the informant to be giving birth.

"At this rate, I'm not even sure the child will survive a week, if we were to try and do a C-Section." Shinra was telling Shizuo.

Mocha eyes looked at Izaya's belly. "Tsugaru…."

"I'll do whatever I can to help these two."

Shinra managed to slow down Izaya's labor for two days, but observing the child within, he could see it was becoming distressed.

"I'll have to perform an operation soon. I can't keep Izaya on medication like this…" Shinra muttered to himself, watching Shizuo sleeping in a chair next to Izaya. He hasn't left his side at all.

"I'm sorry…I'll do all I can to help save the baby." Shinra muttered to himself, opening up his phone to have express delivery.

The next day, Shinra prepped Izaya for an emergency C-Section. Celty stood by closely to help out Shinra if needed; however the doctor promised that he had everything under control. Shizuo was instructed to stand by and hold Izaya's hand the whole time. Once Shinra began making the incision mark, Shizuo looked at Izaya's face. He was hooked on to a breathing mask, and some medicine that dulled pain, but caused drowsiness. Shinra had a bag of blood in case Izaya lost too much during the procedure; but the doctor wanted to make this move as swiftly as possible, and hopefully without Izaya losing too much he can get back under normal circumstances.

Shizuo rubbed Izaya's hands in a steady circle. "Izaya, make it out of this alright…" he sighed holding the hands to his forehead.

After thirty intense minutes, there was a small squealing sound, followed by hurried footsteps. Shizuo, who had been praying to whatever gods emotionally to himself for that time, looked up to see a small bundle being carried by Celty. Shinra proceeded in to sewing up Izaya, as the man's heart rate began to slow down a little more than Shinra would like. This took no more than forty-five minutes, and when Shinra was done he began transferring some blood to the informant.

When Shinra got the blood flowing into the informant, and the other needles taken out of him, Shinra chuckled a little at the blonde. Shizuo still held on to Izaya's hand, though he was passed out in the chair. This moment lived short for the doctor, for he had a baby to check on. And he'd only hope that the moment of bliss would come through for the sleeping couple.

* * *

Xibiya: Warning, I fully intend to rain hell from here on with the remaining chapters.

Meaning no feelings will be spared.

I'm (not) sorry. *bows*

Shoutouts~

inlovewithshizaya: Thank you for all the reviews! I look forward to each one every time I update a chapter XD  
Hito rabuuu~

Read and review~? I'll update sooner if reach 20 reveiws!


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

 _[Note: If you read this to Munou by_ _österreich (Tokyo Ghoul √A Opening) it gives a more saddened feel. If you really wanna go for the tear, then read to it~!]_

* * *

Chapter 12: Holding and Hurting

The first thing that hit Izaya was how incredibly sore he felt, from his stomach and back area, to his hand. He also felt incredibly empty and light as well, something he hadn't felt since six months ago. With a struggling moan, crimson eyes met florescent lights, to observe his surroundings. He remembered being under Shinra's care, but things seemed to pass by in a blur, probably because he was under heavy dosages of medicine. But how much time had passed by?

Hushed whispers caught his attention immediately; Izaya's curiosity grew ever more, but his body urged him to rest. He let out a soft sigh, and looked down at himself, noting that his tummy decreased in size. Did he have the baby already? That would explain why he felt empty and hurt in that area. Observing more of his surroundings, Izaya noticed a seat by his bed, reached out to touch it and mused lightly. A vest was thrown over the back of the chair, and the seat was still warm. Shizuo must have been by his side until a while ago.

"Izaya."

The raven looked over to his old friend and Celty around the corner. The headless fairy typed something on her phone and flashed it to Izaya.

 ** _[How are you feeling? You slept for two days.]_**

"I'm fine. Where's Shizu-chan?"

"Shizuo went out for something to eat a while ago." Shinra explained, taking the seat Shizuo was just in. "Izaya, there's something you should know about Tsugaru."

Izaya's face scrunched up. "Why are you telling me this? It's only Shizu-chan's now. Not mine."

Shinra and Celty looked at each other, and with a sigh Shinra decided to continue. "You shouldn't forget Izaya, no matter how hard you'll try to repress the memory you were pregnant for six months, a piece of you is still in the baby. But it may not be long. I've done all I can."

"What's wrong with it?" Izaya asked, showing minimal worry.

"It's about 3 months premature, and can't breath or provide heat on its own. I've hooked him up to a breathing machine and placed him in an incubator; but thing's aren't looking up for the little guy." Shinra admitted with a sigh. "Hopefully with the shots I'm giving him, will provide and make up the rest of what he's missing in order to grow. I want to keep him away from any germs as well. However, if you or Shizuo want to ho-"

"I'm not touching that thing." Izaya interrupted holding his arms, and diverting his gaze elsewhere. "I don't want to hear anything else anymore concerning it."

Celty typed on her PDA. **_[But Izaya, Tsugaru is your child as well. Why wouldn't you show concern for him after all of this time? Are you that cruel, as to deny your own child?]_**

"Celty."

The headless dullahan looked at her lover as he shook his head. "Well Izaya, we'll leave you alone then. You'll be able to leave the day after tomorrow when your wound heals."

Celty tried to fuss at Shinra as he escorted her out, asking her politely to calm down. He didn't miss the unreadable face Izaya was sporting, and wasn't sure how Izaya was going to react. He would protect Celty at all cost, but he also wouldn't be able to keep Izaya at bay in case he broke down from this.

A punch in the gut brought Shinra out of his thoughts. Doubled over he looked at the PDA thrust in his face, along with Celty's angry movements. "I took you out of there to protect you from Izaya. I don't think we need to say anymore."

 ** _[Protect me from Izaya? I'm clearly capable of handling myself Shinra.]_**

"I didn't mean to call you weak…But, in Izaya's state, he could say something that could hurt you." Shinra placed a hand on Celty's shoulder and brought her in for a hug. "Let me handle Izaya."

Celty made small movements and nodded as the smoke puffed into the air. Celty grabbed her helmet and signaled she was going out for a while. Shinra nodded. "Be careful."

Celty quickly walked out the apartment, completely missing someone who had been watching in the whole time. Plastic bags rustled a bit, along with a low sigh.

"I long for a relationship like that." Shizuo muttered to himself with a melancholic smile on his face. Quickly pushing the thoughts back, he made a normal entry when Shinra spotted him.

"Welcome back Shizuo. I guess you came in when Celty did."

"Yeah. Here's some food." Shizuo lifted the bags. "Is Izaya up yet?"

"Before you go see him, Shizuo, I already told him Tsugaru's condition." The blond remained silent. "Could you convince Izaya to hold Tsugaru once in case-"

"Don't say it." Shizuo gripped the bags tightly. He didn't want to think about his son dying prematurely. "I'll do what I can."

Shinra nodded and adjusted his glasses. "Go shower, I went and got you some clean clothes. I'll go judge whether Tsugaru can be held for a while and see if he can feed as well."

* * *

"Izaya. Oi, Izaya. Wake up."

The raven opened up his eyes slowly to see Shizuo hovered over him. He felt himself warm up a bit, and scowled at the blonde. He wasn't happy to see him. Not at all! "Seeing your gross face is such an unwelcoming sight."

"Can it flea." Shizuo grumbled jabbing Izaya in the head one good time then pointed to the curtain that separated Izaya from the rest of the room. "Shinra is gunna let Tsugaru out for a little so we can hold him for a bit."

Izaya turned his head. "I don't want to hold it."

"He's a boy, Izaya. Just once? It won't hurt to hold him for a second." Shizuo egged on.

"I said no. I'm tired." Izaya hissed. "Besides, I thought you said once I gave birth to it that we'd be done with each other? I've done my part, now do yours."

"I said to hold him damnit!"

"I said I'm tired!" Izaya jumped a little as his stomach began to hurt a little bit. "I'm still recovering, idiot."

Shizuo growled and sat in his chair. "You're gunna hold him."

"I'd like to see you try." Izaya smirked. "You never said I couldn't try to kill him when he was born. Are you sure you trust the man who wanted to abort your child at first?"

"Why you-!"

"Coming in! Try not to upset the child when he's off his breathing machine." came Shinra's voice as the curtain was pulled aside.

"Shizuo and Izaya eyed the blue blanket in Shinra's arms. Shizuo out stretched his arms while Shinra guided his arms and the bundle into the body guards arms. When Shizuo had a good hold of the blanket, Shinra pulled back a layer of the blanket to reveal the child. Shizuo's face softened a little, and a smile spread across his face.

"Hey there…" Shizuo chuckled at the sleeping form. The baby had a small tuft of unruly brown hair "Hey Tsugaru. I'm daddy."

Shinra chuckled at Shizuo's new title then eyed Izaya. His face changed dramatically. Izaya gazed at the two his face reading nothing but complete disgust at the whole scene. His breathing had picked up considerably, skin beginning to look shiny from sweat even though the room was kept at a leveled temperature, and he backed away from Shizuo while still being in the bed. Shinra frowned a little biting his lips, and it was then Shizuo looked up from his one sided conversation to take a look at Izaya.

"Disgusting…"

Both men stared at Izaya incredibly, at the informant pointed at Tsugaru.

"What is that disgusting thing…What is that monster?"

* * *

Tsugaru was back under his machines, a watchful and hurt Shizuo staring at the child. The only thing signaling the child was alive was the heart monitor he was on. He could tell the heart beats weren't strong. He placed a hand on the heated glass with a sigh and closed his eyes.

"Tsugaru, I'm sorry."

A hand landed on his shoulder, and soon a light appeared in his face. Shizuo read the message and smiled weakly at his dullahan friend. "I'm fine. Tired, but alright otherwise."

Celty turned her body to the incubator. **_[He's beautiful.]_**

"Yeah, he is. I just wish Izaya would realize that."

 ** _[I heard how Izaya reacted to seeing Tsugaru for the first time. Shinra says he could be experiencing baby blues, or worse. We're hoping it's baby blues.]_**

"I don't know what those are but, I just want to take Tsugaru home." Shizuo murmured. "Varona is ready to see him."

Shizuo smiled and looked at the curtain with a lingering thought. "Maybe she'll make a better mom than Izaya. He needs a real woman's support."

Celty let some smoke loose in confusion, and jumped when another voice came in.

"If you're trying to bait me into wanting to hold that ugly thing of yours Shizuo, you can cut it out. That's childish and won't work."

"Why you-!" Shizuo stomped over to the curtains and pulled them aside to see Izaya reading a book as if the events of earlier never happened. "How can you so casually sit there like this?"

"Ugh, you're so annoying. Look, I already know a protozoan like you won't listen to reason or why, so why bother telling you? Just go away."

"You heartless bastard. Don't you know that there's a chance that Tsugaru may die soon?!" Shizuo yelled.

Both males looked at each other, crimson hues reflecting utter surprise. He knew the child was weak because he was premature, and Shinra was taking care of him, but are things really that serious?

"Shinra's taking care of him." Izaya scoffed, looking away.

"Shinra isn't even completely sure Tsugaru will get better. The kid's lungs are struggling to keep air in him and he needs the warmth provided by his mother, but you can't do a damn thing because you're still selfish!"

"So what?! If the kid dies, oh well! It was never meant to exist in the first place!"

Izaya covered his mouth as soon as the words flew out. Shizuo's body grew rigid, in the moments that seem to pass by. Izaya looked down.

"Shiz-"

"I'm going for a smoke." Shizuo muttered walking out and dismissing everything that happened.

The raven slammed his hand on the rails and tried to hold back the sudden tears that began to fall as he cradled his hand. "Ow, ow, ow…"

* * *

Xibiya: And the series of hurting and hell begins~! I've gotten a few wonderful comments and they made me so happy I decided to update early, and it's quite long too! I'm feeling a little ill today, I think I got a stomach bug, but I powered through to write this! Now I must rest and get better. I have a lot of weekend homework I gotta do before Monday (TuT)

College is hard...

Review please~ They make me write faster!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Hard Times

It had been about two weeks since Izaya ever heard anything from Shizuo or anything about Tsugaru. Told to take it easy on the day of his release, Izaya had been feeling apathetic about the whole situation, and neither male bothered to talk to each other. After their fight, everything seemed to be right back on track for the info broker. Although it bothered him at first, some times in the morning, he would wake up and expect to find Shizuo still sleeping on the couch, only to see the blond was no longer there. His spare room still held an assortment of baby items he neither bothered to send nor Shizuo came to pick up. He's thought about sending Namie to go deliver it, but at the same time he wasn't so sure. After all, the last thing he'd heard about Tsugaru is that he might be on the verge of dying.

The scar on his abdomen also reminded him that his life wasn't to go back to normal.

In the chat room, Izaya caught up on what he'd missed out on within the past weeks he'd missed. Since coming back, the informant only worked to make up for lost time while he was under Shinra's care, and answering questions about his sudden departure and refusal to see anyone. He scrolled up until the day before he went into labor, finding nothing interesting until just about the day of, with a conversation between Setton and Saika, or Celty and Anri.

[Setton]: My friend just had a baby

[Saika]: Ah!

[Saika]: Tell them I said congratulations.

[Saika]: They must be really happy.

[Setton]: ….

[Setton]: Well not really.

[Setton]: The mother of the baby hasn't been all too happy about the pregnancy.

[Setton]: It's been stressing my friend out. I wish I knew how to help him.

[Saika]: Oh. That's sad. Why doesn't the mother enjoy it?

[Saika]: I think the gift of bringing a human in this world would make any woman happy.

Izaya frowned slightly, scrolling down a bit more to something more current, or at least over the last few days.

[Setton]: The baby doesn't seem to be getting any better.

[Byakura]: Oh no! How are the parents?

[Saika]: ….

[Setton]: The parents don't talk to each other. We've been trying to reach the mom

[Setton]: She doesn't answer

[Byakura]: How cruel… How about the dad?

[Setton]: He doesn't talk about the mom much, and he's always over looking after the baby.

[Setton]: He doesn't like leaving his side.

[Saika]: I hope it gets better soon. It's a miracle it's lived past it's original presumed life expectancy.

[Byakura]: I hope the little guy gets better.

Izaya rolled his eyes and scrolled through the rest of the chat. Somewhere they mentioned the absence of Kanra, but nothing too serious than that it seemed. The chat log from yesterday wasn't much until it around the end of the day. Izaya's eyes widened a bit at Celty's message, lump caught in his throat, he looked away to recompose himself. With a deep sigh he looked back at the message, and let it sink in more.

[Setton]: He didn't make it through the night…

Tsugaru died? Izaya placed his hands to his face. Taking a small breath, he turned his chair to his drawer, where he kept his personal phone. Ever since he came back he didn't want to hear anything from Shinra about the baby. Except now he almost regretted it. Anri's words bore deep into his mind. Was it true? Was he supposed to be happy he was bringing life into this world?

-34 messages & 3 voicemails-

Looking through the messages first, most of them were Shinra yelling at him for just leaving and not coming back for check-ups. Of course if he went then he'd probably be forced to look at his child, and talk to Shizuo about what had happened. Soon though, the remaining messages were about Tsugaru's condition.

[Shinra 10/23]

He's looking pretty good so far. Shizuo's hoping to take Tsugaru home soon. You should see about making up so you both can take care of him.

[Shinra 10/23]

Make sure you're taking your medicine to heal your internal organs. I still owe money for that blood I got, and I can't afford to do another surgery on you just yet.

[Shinra 10/25]

Tsugaru suddenly got worse last night. I tried calling you but it seems you're still ignoring the world huh? Shizuo still upset you haven't said or done anything to try and help him and Tsugaru. You two should just make up already. It's putting a lot on Shizuo, y'know.

An interrupted message from Mairu asking if he had any medical supplies he wasn't using for a school project. Then Shinra's messages resume

[Shinra 10/26]

I'm not sure how much you'd care at this point. But I feel like I'm obligated to tell you anyways since he's your child too. Tsugaru died this morning, because of heart failure. I haven't told Shizuo yet, he's already exhausted as is, between working and staying up late to watch over your son. It's a shame you couldn't see it Izaya. You missed out on what would be the best and hardest times of being a parent. Your son had the most beautiful eyes; if only you had seen him wake up when he was feeling good. You could ha

[Shinra 10/26]

ve played with him, and made an impression on him as well. Shizuo was crazy, seeing and playing with his son for the first time, he cried. I believe if you gave Tsugaru and Shizuo a chance, he could have lived. The funeral will be held in 2 weeks.

Izaya blinked, seeing a tear spill from his eyes. He touched his face, while more tears continued to run down his face. No… Why was he crying? With a small hiccup, he went to his voicemail to listen to whatever was left from him. The first being from a number he didn't know. It was quiet at first, then a sigh, before it hung up. The second was from Shinra, panicking because Tsugaru suddenly went into critical condition and he wanted to see him immediately, ending with the sentence, "Please come see him or it'll become the biggest regret of your life."

Delete. Tears still ran down Izaya's face, even as he wiped them. Why was it know of all times what this affected him? He didn't give a damn about the child throughout pregnancy and after delivery. So why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why did it hurt to breath?

" _Izaya_ …"

The informant shuddered at the sound of his voice. The voice that in the past would use to scream his name while chasing him up and down the busy streets of Ikebukuro. The voice that would calmly ask him what he was craving because he wanted to be a good father. The voice that was by his side coupled with holding his hand, though the other was heavily under medication, during the delivery. The voice that he fought with the day before he was released…

Shizuo Heiwajima.

"Ah, I really don't know what I should say," Shizuo went and let out a sigh. "I mean…hell what should I say? I'm sure Shinra's already told you about Tsugaru… Ah dammit…" There was a sniffle in the back, and another breath, before Shizuo cleared his throat. "Uhm, Tsugaru… Tsugaru died. And I don't know how to handle this by myself. You probably don't care no ways. You never did like him; you never gave him a chance."

Izaya leaned back in his chair, hand draped over his face while he continued to listen to the message.

"I wish you would have given him a chance y'know? We both messed up, and I was really willing to own up to it, but you… I don't know. I guess you had your own rights and reasons but you could have given him some chance. He did nothing wrong. We were the ones who did wrong."

"Yea we did…" Izaya replied to himself.

"I thought we could have had something too. I thought that maybe after Tsu was born that we could… be something other than enemies, or temporary friends. I just I really bunked that up with our last fight. And even now I don't see than happening since you completely shut me out your life."

"Shizu-chan I didn't…"

"I there were a few times I wanted to talk to you about it but the time never seemed right. I guess it's too late now but, I don't hate you anymore."

There was silence over the phone, Izaya wondering if that was the end of the message. Then he froze, dropping out of his hand, and fell to the floor.

"To repeat these messages please dial 1..."

Getting out of his chair he dashed to the door and out into the building, Shizuo's place being the first place he wanted to go.

"Shizuo…is it true? Do you…?"

"Izaya… _I love you_."

* * *

A/N: I seen to it that I try and upload the next chapter on my babies birthday.

Im very sorry about the lack/slow updating as my life has gotten to a pretty hectic point and so.

Along with a minor case of depression the creating of this story got pushed back so many times, along with how long I originally planned this story to be.

So, I'll just update it when I can. Thank you to those who just came along for the ride, and those who've stuck around~

You'll see an amazing end to this story soon!


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Losing is Never Easy  
Chapter 14 - Goodbyes

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle this?

* * *

"I hate you..."

Bent over his bed, floor littered with nothing but cigarette butts, Shizuo repeated the same sentence like a mantra. He did, he truly did, he, with every fiber of his being did hate the man whom did this to him. If only he hadn't provoked him, lead him on, turned him on. If only he hadn't been such a selfish bastard, and done what he could to abide by their agreement, maybe - just maybe - Shizuo wouldn't bee feeling this empty void in his chest. He wheezed, taking in a sharp inhale before coughing, rubbing his face on the bed sheets. He hadn't moved from this spot in 2 hours.

Banging his fist on the mattress it groaned in protest. If not for it being something he couldn't afford at the moment, Shizuo would have surely punched the whole bed set through the floor, regardless of whom was living under him and who could get sniffled a bit, sitting up to check the time. If he had the strength he could and would move but at the moment he was in such anguish he really couldn't. He didn't want too be bothered.

He didn't...

But also for the past five minutes someone had been relentlessly ringing his doorbell.

He sighed hearing it go off again along with a few knocks. He could hear some muffled calling but he brushed it off. It was probably Tom or someone from the company checking up on him. He didn't mean to worry them, and yet he couldn't bring himself to face them.

Not after he lost Tsugaru.

Every moment Shizuo could he watched over his son with loving tender eyes. Holding him when he was well was a joy as well. Feeding, playing, holding, and falling asleep with him in his arms, everything a new father could enjoy with their first child Shizuo made the most of it. He let his guard down too easily however, with thinking that Tsugaru's health was finally looking up, and he'd be fine. But he suddenly took a turn for the worst when he got sick, and just like that, Tsugaru was taken away from him.

Seeing the child's heart monitor stop in front of his eyes like that was one of the worst, if not the worst, experience Shizuo had ever witnessed, and it was now eating him up.

He blamed himself for not being careful enough with handling his fragile son, for all the times Shinra warned him and Shizuo pouted to allow him to bond with his son, for also not being by his side enough when work tore him away from his son. So many things Shizuo blamed but ultimately he came to one prime source to place all his blame on.

With an angry growl, now having it been 20 minutes and the persistent noise knocking and bell ringing only got more annoying and obnoxious, Shizuo slammed his hands on the bed, creating a dent in the floor while he stomped to the door. Whoever it was, regardless if they were friend or foe, was sincerely going to get punched to the next century With a fling of the door, almost ripping it off his hinges he yelled the first thing that came to mind.

"Why the HELL are you-"

He paused. The wind getting hung in his wind pipe and he coughed having halting his thinking process. What had him, literally, choking on air was not his recent smoke in lung build up, but whom was at the door.

It had been two long weeks ago since either one of them seen each other. He wasn't sure how to feel about him at the moment. When he caught his breath he scowled at the raven and make an irritated noise.

"The fuck do you want, Izaya?"

Mocha eyes bore into amber hues with malice. The man whom did all of this to him. Before Izaya could get a word out, Shizuo made another grunted noise. "Never mind. You're probably here to gloat and brag, aren't you?" Shizuo laughed mockingly. "If you're here then you must know about Tsugaru huh? Aren't you happy now?"

He gritted his teeth, attempting to hold back the next wave of tears. "Well you got your fucking wish, flea bastard. He died. The child I wanted to keep died. You know, sometimes I wonder if me saying that you aren't supposed to exist means you would die in two weeks. Wouldn't that be amazing? No one would miss your sorry ass."

Izaya remained quiet, unable to say anything, which only pissed Shizuo off more. "Oh you had so much to say before this, and now you're quiet? Talk! Speak goddamnit!"

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya broke out, clenching his fists together. "Shut up! Just... Shut up! Gosh, you're such an idiot! Stupid block head!" Izaya insulted. "Why the hell would I come all the way out here to gloat about our child being dead?"

This caught Shizuo off guard, that and tears suddenly pricking Izaya's eyes. Rubbing the corners Izaya laughed sadly. "Yea, I"m sure you heard me right. I said it. Tsugaru was our child. Our child..."

Shizuo balled his fist up and sneered. "You can't claim he's ours after knowing about his death! You were so opposed to him being ours when he was alive. You don't deserve that right!"

"Damn right I do; I gave birth to him!"

Izaya beat on Shizuo's chest. "Just...shut up... I don't...I didn't come here to fight about Tsugaru."

Shizuo calmed down a bit. Looking down at Izaya. With a sigh he pulled him inside, closed the door, pressed Izaya against the door and kissed him. Surprised, Izaya kissed back; first with hesitance, then with more passion. Izaya brought his hands up around the faux blond's neck, then ran then through his hair, while Shizuo's hands ran a mindless course on Izaya's body. When Shizuo went to press his lower half on Izaya, the raven broke away.

"Shizu-chan, stop..."

Stopping, Shizuo simply gazed at the raven. They both hungered for each other, but it was too much. Too much heaviness and regret, so many unforgiven things that stopped them from dissipating that hunger. Shizuo let off Izaya taking a few paces back.

"I guess that means you got that voicemail thing?"

Izaya shrugged and nodded. "Yea... is it true?"

"I dunno anymore."

It was true, at the time Shizuo meant what he'd said to Izaya. He did love him. However now, Shizuo wasn't so sure. He knew he still had feelings for him, but would it be possible? After all the damage Izaya caused not only to Shizuo but himself, would it be possible to love him again?

"I'm sorry."

Shizuo swallowed thickly, hearing Izaya apologize without it being nothing meaningful was something he didn't expect.

"I don't... I can't really blame all my actions on post par-tum depression." Izaya continued. "I...with all my being..I did hate Tsugaru, but I also..as time went on with you, I didn't hate Tsugaru anymore. I also began to notice I didn't hate you anymore either."

Shizuo scratched his head; Izaya shuffled his feet.

"In spending time with you, I became to want to have a domestic life with you, but that meant giving up our long rivalry, and I didn't know how to feel about that. I wasn't ready for the change; it wasn't planned... None of this was. But, Shizu-chan... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean when I said I didn't want Tsugaru to exist... Had I completed my full term... I might... but the birth came too soon, I was unprepared..." Izaya wiped his eyes. "Fuck..."

The apartment was silent, save for Izaya occasional sniffling. Shizuo couldn't believe what he'd heard. So Izaya felt the same way he did. Four months of putting up with Izaya paid off for something, but still, there was the matter of Tsugaru...

"I still can't forgive you for walking out on Tsugaru like that." Shizuo muttered. "I... I don't want to see your face anymore..."

Izaya looked up. Of course Shizuo had said this plenty of times but this bothered him greatly. "What?"

"I said, I don't want to see you anymore. I can't forgive you for anything... Get out..."

They stared at each other; amber hues into reddened mocha eyes. And then Izaya grabbed the door knob, and left...


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Losing is Never Easy  
Chapter 15: Thinking

It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle this?

* * *

This feeling was extremely abnormal to the raven haired informant. His heart felt awful, throbbing painfully, and he wondered if he was going to have a heart attack right there. Tears dried on the corners of his eyes, everything felt numb aside from his throbbing chest. He wanted to roll over and sleep.

"I don't want to see you anymore..."

A hand clenched his chest tightly at remembering his words.

Dumb protozoan.

Why was this affecting him so much? He should've seen it coming. After all, they were enemies to begin with. He would laugh if he didn't feel so shitty. It was impossible for enemies to fall in love. He was stupid for falling for such a ruse. Such sweet bliss - short lived peace made between the two. And for a second he almost scorned Tsugaru, when the feeling doubled in his chest at remembering the child was dead.

Izaya groaned loudly. If his chest would stop hurting, if even for a moment, he would be able to think properly. Falls breath was upon them, and the sky gave off a milky orange glow in the large apartment. Shadows seemed to loom ever closer, stretching the full length as the sun crawled across he sky.

"Shizu-chan..." Izaya sighed loudly.

He looked hurt; absolutely destroyed - Izaya should be reveling in that fact. It was like seeing him dead. But he hated it. Izaya loathed that look. A weakened version of that man... It was unnatural to him. Unpleasantly, unnaturally, unnervingly, extraordinary. So... human. He wanted that angry Shizuo who threw things, chased him, called him names. But living together he seen a side to Shizuo he'd equate to human qualities. Softness, control, and something even deeper he'd noticed about Shizuo himself.

All through high school, and even now, Shizuo equated the meaning to "I hate violence," to "I hate myself, and what I am", which was fine and dandy to Izaya - at the time. He saw Shizuo the same way he did - a muscle machine, incapable of doing nothing but hurting people. His strength did nothing but place others in danger.

When did it change?

When they found out Tsugaru was to be born. He grew into a calm person, just for one little human, even if it was by his most hated enemy. Because of love, Shizuo changed, vowed for a change in himself. Did he see his strength as a way of protecting others?

Izaya looked off to the side.

He was the true monster in this situation to not even realize that he gave birth to something extraordinary; even more than Celty was. He was the one inflicting the damage. He was the one who was hurting. It was like God looking at his creations and scorning them for existing. Condemning them to hell because He created them even though they did nothing wrong.

He really didn't do anything wrong, and he wished so many ill beings upon them, it actually happened. And unlike how God really has the power to bring back people from the dead, Izaya didn't have the power to bring back Tsugaru. And wish Tsugaru gone, there was no mending Shizuo back together.

There was no getting together.

"Stupid-!"

Izaya threw a pillow, abruptly standing up.

"There was no way in hell we were going to be together anyways." He began to rant, running a hand through his hair. "We're enemies; who in their right minds would fall in love with their enemy? They're called your enemy for a reason, right? Not your soul mate. So what if he loved me - hah - It's not like I..."

He paused, panting heavily. His chest grew heavier.

"I..."

He loved him. Izaya Orihara loved Shizuo Heiwajima. And he was devastated - no - heart broken at Shizuo's words.

"So this is what heart break is like? Or losing your love?" he laughed bitterly.

* * *

He didn't like this feeling.

* * *

A few days past, in which Izaya had settled into an unsettling normal routine for himself. He forced himself to push past Shizuo, that the blonde would find him when he wanted to talk to him. In the meanwhile Izaya worked on the piled assignments Shiki had thrust upon him as punishment for the info broker being selfish and taking so many days off and without any reason why. Shiki had no reason to distrust him in a sense of sending people to attack his group, but didn't trust him enough not to let the informant out of his sight for long without any reason.

Izaya was fine with it however; it kept him busy. Kept his train of thought from lingering to Shizuo and Tsugaru.

His hand lingered on his abdominal area, eyes closed in thought. It was weird but Izaya kept the little weight he'd gained from pregnancy as a reminder. A reminder that Tsu-chan was still with him, somehow, even though he'd passed. He got poked at it about it often by Namie, who had a paid vacation while Shizuo was living with him, but returned a few days ago, but Izaya made no jabs back, no retorts. He only stayed silent, smiled to himself as he rubbed his stomach and shrugged it off, knowing that it pissed Namie off.

Sitting back in his chair, Izaya stretched, taking his eyes off the computer screen to rub his eyes, and look outside. It was late evening, and he had a small craving for fatty tuna at Russian Sushi. It was a nice moment to take a break since he got the majority of his work out of the way and could stand a break for the moment, so he grabbed his jacket, and left. Izaya put a little skip in his step, heading down to Ikebukuro.

It was when he stepped within the city and made his way deeper in, that he atuned his ears to some information, specifically because it was of a certain blonde.

"Did you hear? Heiwajima has been pretty lukewarm with his violence recently."

"Yea, yea. I heard when he was out working, some guy threatened to kill his brother if he didn't let him off and he got away with a punch and a warning. Not even tossed!"

"Has he gone soft?"

Izaya tilted his head back slightly, stopping in his track as he let the mass of Ikebukuro maneuver around him. Shizuo had lost a lot of his aggression? Thin lips pierced together as he resumed his initial goal, seeing the building just in sight. Opening the door and parting the drapes, he was greeted by Simon, who seemed a little grim. Grim enough to speak in Russian to him.

"Shizuo is here, I trust you both won't cause a havoc? He doesn't look too good either."

Izaya huffed through his nose, and shook his head, patting the dark man on his arm as he strode inside in search for the blonde. He was already seated, staring blankly at his tea, when Izaya plopped beside him and startled him out of his daydream.

"I-Izaya?" the blonde stuttered in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

The raven shrugged, calling out for his usual tuna strips and green tea, Dennis getting the notice. "I was hungry for some tuna. I didn't know you would be here."

Izaya felt something tug at his chest. He attempted to play apathetic about the situation. He didn't want emotions from the other day to arise again.

"Should I leave?" he asked out of curiosity, wondering if Shizuo didn't want to see him still?

Shizuo mulled over the thought, shaking his head. "No. Stay."

Inwardly, Izaya smiled, his food being delivered to him. It was quiet between them, aside from Shizuo's slurping, and Izaya's munching. It was uncertain between them how things should go. Where should they go from here?

Where can they go?

"I understand that Shizu-chan doesn't want me to be in his life anymore." Izaya began after licking his fingers. "But I can't accept not having Shizu-chan in mine."

Shizuo eyed him curiously, humming in response, or as an indication that he was listening.

"Just like I can't accept not having Tsugaru in our life anymore. I realized - too late - how wrong I was to scorn an innocent child because of my mess up. I've made a lot of errors, but instead of taking it on, I shoved it to Tsugaru. And you too."

"You don't have to take all the blame Izaya." Shizuo interjected. "We both messed up. Even though that damn annoying doctor did this to us, still, we should've done better by him. Done better by us."

Izaya looks at Shizuo. For once he wasn't pinning all the blame on him, even though he should. It was a collective blame. Even Shizuo was blaming himself. The blonde ran a hand through his hair and hummed quietly. He looked as if he'd pondered a lot ofter their last encounter.

"I thought it would be impossible for us to fall in love."

"Me too."

Shizuo looked at him. "Should we try?"

Izaya tilted his head. "Sure."

* * *

Note: Hello~! Happy New Year! I know it's been a while since I updated but between work and an obvious writers block I couldn't pile through, it was really hard to push out this chapter, especially after the last chapters content. And even worse I rewrote this so many times my head hurts. But thank you for reading, please leave a review. And thank you to everyone who had done so thus far.


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Losing is Never Easy

Summary: It started off as a playful joke for Izaya to have some dirt on his high school nemesis, but things never turn out quite the way the informant planned on it happening. Perhaps it was because he allowed himself to think the monster was going to go his way. A few months later and Izaya is experiencing weird symptoms that all link to...pregnancy? How will the devious duo handle trying to raise a kid...if all seems to go well with Izaya's painful pregnancy that is.

Disclaimer: This is a nonprofit fanbased story. Durarara is owned by Narita Ryohgo, and all characters, mention of certain cannon events, and the original idea goes to him. Please support the official release.

* * *

Chapter 16: It Was All

* * *

There was something…. Something very off about them… None of this...This didn't feel right…

* * *

There were many things Izaya could perceive about his surroundings, even when he was doing something monotonous, or something that required his full on attention; such as working at his computer all day wordlessly, or even doing his usual intel gathering while being Kanra. He'd noticed it since he and Shizuo reconciled and got back together. The blonde officially moved out of his apartment to stay with Izaya in his lofty apartment in Shinjuku. Izaya thought it would be best Shizuo stay with him. There was no other say during the agreement, Izaya just simply saying, "You should come stay with me again. It's for the best", and Shizuo wordlessly agreed.

Their impromptu get together, astonished Shinra when he'd gotten a surprise call from Izaya. And there was something about his tone as far as the news that set Izaya slightly off. Ignoring it, Izaya acted such as his usual self, but he knew, Shinra knew he wasn't so stupid as to ignore even the slightest tones in his voice. Still though, Shinra too ignored the passive exchange.

Izaya stretched at his desk, sneaking a peek at the clock. It was almost four, and Shizuo would be on his way home soon. He felt peckish, and knew Shizuo would be hungry as well. "I guess ordering sushi wouldn't hurt for tonight." the raven groaned aloud, and stood up. Snatching the phone out of its receiver, he began pacing around the empty floorway while ordering his food.

When he was done, he paused and tossed the phone onto the couch, and heaved another sigh. Looking around his eyes befell on a door. He found he'd been staring at that door more than often lately, often spacing out. His mind would drift without his knowing, and it was probably one of his more vulnerable moments. Although when he wasn't drifting between thought he'd caught Shizuo staring at it as well, often becoming sad. His chest felt empty in a way he couldn't quite understand, and often if either one of them felt like this they wouldn't speak for the remainder of the day. It was only when they decided to go to bed they would utter quiet good nights, and Izaya found Shizuo holding him a little bit tighter than other nights.

It was supposed to have been Tsugaru's room for however long Shizuo originally planned to stay with him after birth. They haven't opened the door since setting it up. Not once since Izaya went to Shinra's to deliver. It was something about opening that room that terrified Izaya to his core.

Shizuo on the other hand had his feelings to sort out. He'd agreed on a blind whim to stay with Izaya again, hating the feeling of being alone. At times he thought about bringing a girl to his apartment every night and drink and smoke to wash away the overwhelming feelings he couldn't comprehend. In a way he felt a lot better being with Izaya. It wasn't just the sense of company that was welcomed, though he was more the company than Izaya was, but Shizuo felt relieved that the flea wasn't being a nuisance. At times it was awkward talking to Izaya as a normal human without feeling the urge to punch his guts out. Other times it was as though they were old lovers who shared a light drink, a few laughs and a passionate night every once in awhile.

But there was a growing pit hardening in Shizuo's stomach every time he seen the door that connected to his son's room. It was as if that part of the apartment, that room felt foreign. It was too surreal to imagine it being a dead child's room. He never got to go in there and sleep in the crib Shizuo spent agonizing time making while Izaya laughed at him, and helped in the end. The blonde felt the most happiest in that room, coming up with several fantasies waking up at three in the morning to bottle feed his son, bouncing and rocking him back to sleep, then planting a loving kiss on his forehead for being his miracle baby.

His heart ached for his son to still be in his arms, and surrounded by people who loved him.

It was often a torment in his dreams, waking Izaya up, and having the older male to coddle him for a while. It wasn't coddling in a way a woman would comfort her distraught partner, but Izaya would softly cradle Shizuo near his chest and scratch in his hair gently until he fell back asleep.

It was definitely one of Shizuo's most vulnerable times, and to see Izaya didn't do anything malicious to him, he could all but expect Izaya understood where he was coming from.

* * *

The blonde had just reached the landing where he and Izaya stayed, and unlocked the door. Stepping in, he loosened his tie, and began sliding off his shoes. "Izaya? I'm home."

His eyes went straight to the informant's desk, which is where he usually found him, but today he wasn't there. The faint smell of food lead him to the kitchen, so he deduced he was in there. But he was rewarded with a presentless Izaya, and a bag of take out on the small table. The blonde absently wondered if he didn't feel good, and began his way to the stairs with a bit of haste.

"Izaya?" Shizuo called out a little louder. His curiosity was piqued a little at still hearing nothing. Did he step out or something, he wondered reaching the upper landing, and stopped short. Prominent light was spilling through that forbidden room, and the door was left ajar. Shizuo took soft steps towards the room, approaching it carefully, and pushed the door open slightly. There he took in a soft breath at what he saw.

Izaya was sitting in his rocking chair next to the baby crib for Tsugaru, using his feet to rock back in forth gently. His eyes were closed as if he were living in a reality where he had Tsugaru in his arms. He even smiled a bit. Shizuo thought it was rude to just stare, but he didn't want to interrupt Izaya's moment either. In fact he felt slightly left out…

"Izaya?"

The raven stopped rocking and looked at Shizuo with a bit of surprise. He seemed almost embarrassed he got caught in such an act and cleared his throat. It was awkward for the two of them to be hanging in here like so. It was a long pregnant silence before Izaya spoke.

"When did you get home? I didn't hear you."

"O-oh.." Shizuo scratched his head and looked at the floor neutrally. "I just got in. I didn't see you at your desk so I was wondering where you were."

"I see. I'm sorry."

Another long pause made things apparent Shizuo had something to ask. Izaya slapped his legs. "Come over here, Shizu-chan."

The blonde looked at him confused for a moment before scowling. "What the hell are you doing? I'm not sitting on your lap."

An exasperated scoff was shot his way, Izaya rolling his eyes. "I don't want you to sit in my lap you dumbass. Just come inside."

He hesitated for a minute, contemplating walking inside, and finally did so. He took a seat by Izaya on the floor, and putting his head in the other's lap. The blond felt gentle digits stringing along in his hair, possibly as a moment of comfort. The two stayed silent taking in everything.

"I…. I wish I could take it all back."

Shizuo looked up at Izaya as best he could from his peripherals. The raven looked at him seriously, and gently touched his forehead to the blonde's temple. "I regret ever saying all that I said about Tsugaru. I don't know why I felt compelled to be in here today."

Shizuo remained silent. Just listening.

"Truthfully, now, if I could give anything, I would want to go back and make things right. I just want this all to be a dream…"

I want this all to be a dream…..

"I do too." Shizuo muttered.

Suddenly, Izaya felt very hazy and dizzy. He groaned, sitting up and rubbed his temples. He felt the weight of Shizuo off his lap, and the the blonde calling him worriedly.

"Izaya?"

Weird… Shizuo is right next to him but he sounds so far away…

"Izaya!"

No that sounded close...And not like Shizuo's voice.

"Izaya? Hello? Are you feeling any pain?"

* * *

Izaya opened his eyes and looked right at Shinra. He was so baffled, almost like someone told him they won the entire net worth of the richest person in Japan. What was he doing in front of Shinra?

Mentioned doctor had his eyebrow cocked and placed a hand on Izaya's forehead. "Maybe you lost too much blood anyways? I would think two days of you and Shizuo being knocked out would be more than enough rest for you to regain all your-"

"Shinra what's today?" Izaya interrupted, holding up a finger.

"T-today? Uhm October 5th? Yeah, your son is two days old now."

Izaya looked at Shinra incredulously. "Tsugaru's alive?"

Now it was Shinra's turn to be surprised. "Tsu- Ahh, yes? He's actually going pretty well. I thought he would be a little underdeveloped due to being born two, almost three, months premature, but he's perfectly healthy."

Izaya felt an overwhelming sense of relief flood him and he let out a breath he'd unknowingly been holding in. It didn't take long for him to surprise Shinra again. "Can I hold my son?"

Shinra's mouth dropped on cue along with the sound of plastic and liquid hitting the floor as well. Shizuo had just entered the room with food, giving Izaya the most shocked expression, with a hint of something else, it was unbeknownst to him at the moment. This was a total 360 for Izaya, who not two days ago, despised the child growing in him and was now calling him his son.

Shinra was first to answer. "Y-yes?! Izaya are you alright? Oh that doesn't matter, I'll wheel him out in just a second! Don't change your mind!" Shinra called running past Shizuo who still stared at Izaya with shock.

The two simply stared at each other, Shizuo strolling next to Izaya's bed. He sat down in the chair beside him, and gave Izaya a serious look.

"Did you…"

"Don't, Shizu-chan." Izaya rushed and spoke. "Just please, I want you and Tsugaru to stay with me."

* * *

Xibiya: Oh god, it's been so long since I've uploaded here. orz

Thank you everyone whose faved and left comments here, they've been really wonderful!  
The next chapter is the end, and I swear I'll get up uploaded faster than this one lol!


	17. Yuuki Gets a LITTLE Salty (TBD)

Hi guys~ So, I'm really sorry if you were actually looking forward to the actual end to Losing is Never Easy, but I would like to address this comment publicly, since the reviewer turned off their PMs. If you aren't interested, or whatever then I'll see you in the next chapter. I'm not sure If I would like to keep this as a public post, since it has no relation to the story, or isn't a thank you or anything, so we'll see~!

* * *

To Messenger777:

As someone who has _already_ accepted God into their life, its kinda off putting for someone like you to be telling me to seek God out. It's pretty presumptuous of you to assume that I don't love and accept my faith in God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It's even more upsetting to me that you would post this on a story that is **VERY** heavy in a lot of things that is, and people _assume_ is a  sin, such as:

Gay Men

Gay Men Having Sex

Sex Before Marriage

Child/ren Born out of Wedlock

Gay Marriage

As someone who is a part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum, and have friends and family who are also apart of this spectrum, who also put their faith in God and every text book word in the Bible, just because I write things like this does not make me a sinner. I'm **not** ashamed that I write things about gay men, who don't even exist in the real world. I'd like to think myself as open-minded, and it makes me mad when all someone does is bring scriptures of the Bible forward as if the Old Testament is what people still lives by.

By the way "... the written word aka the bible..." Is such a lame as fuck way of putting it. And the **_Bible_** is an important book in the Christian faith, _and_ the title of a book,  so properly treat it as such if you're such a big believer.

As long as you have God in your **_heart_** , He will accept you into Heaven. Jesus died for our sins so that we may get into Heaven with Him. Following the Old Testament, though that part of the Bible is important, is null due to Jesus dying and preaching a different way for His followers to follow him into Heaven. 

And I don't follow the Apocalypse bull shit people are spouting. I don't believe it'll come in my lifetime. I've always let go and let God do His work. Such as me looking for a job and being able to make day to day demands just to make sure I don't fall back into my pit of despair I managed to crawl out of when I told myself I wasn't going back to college.

Posting something with no context to my story, not even something to do with criticism about my writing, the content of my story, or anything to help me improve my abilities as a writer, is **absolutely** unacceptable. It wasn't right when you did it to me, or to anyone else you posted your review on. ** _J_** _ **ust because you have the right to free speech, doesn't mean everything you want to say has to be said.**_ If you had PMs turned on, this would be a different scenario, but because you're being a little bitch behind your words, and as a warning to others like yourself, you will get reported.

Please stop this. This tarnished my reviews section, and makes me lose the drive to even continue writing, when writing things like this literally gives me comfort, and the confidence to continue writing.

* * *

Again, I apologize to everyone who is looking forward to the last chapter of Losing is Never Easy, and I promise the next update will be it's final chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who's posted proper reviews. They give me life.


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